Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Nice Pants! :)

i think my parents are really really pissed of with me..so im gonna be a good girl now.

iftar went well today..won meself chocolates. i now feel very very old cos it feels like it was just yesterday that i organized Salam Ukhwah.

i really cant wait for the break next week cos i think that it would be a really good time to catch up with work and readings.

and yes im still stuck on that gender reaction paper.

Labels: fashion, ramblings

| 1:17 AM |

Adieu.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

"And you can burn away all our memories

But I'll keep mine, where they belong"

i need to focus on my academics. i think i've got this whole thing wrong....i've set all my priorities hay wire. but im gonna set it right.

ps. I hate it when people take PBM TOO SERIOUSLY.

Labels: ramblings

| 12:52 AM |

Adieu.

Monday, September 10, 2007

" My Sweet Escape"

i finally finished my minutes!

boy it's really really a painstaking process that TAKES A LOT OF TIME.

(since it's in Malay)

i really wonder how they did it last yr. maybe i should tell the rest of the jk to talk less so that the minutes dun have to be so long. hahaha...

oh anw. yesterday i went for dsl interview. trust dsl to choose an artsy fartsy place and to tell u to dress goth. i totally forgot to ask them why i needed to do so. but apparently we were all told to dress up differently. i came to see Zee in kebaya all dressed up like she was going to a photo shoot. lol. But my point was i realized tha i never truly explored Arab St. tho i think that it is close to being a place that EVERBODY goes to these days. (to take emo photos, and post up on friendster) i don't think it's over rated. The place where i use to go for ngaji is now a chic boutique. i am definitely dragging the Laila's to ec there one of these days instead of our usual Pacfic Coffee-Starbucks hangout.

oh well that is if we have the time la.

plus the fasting month is starting like this thursday. man time really flies. i feel as if i just celebrated Hari Raya last month.

Im really stressed out by school. readings and assignments are piling up and there is no such thing as completing your work. cos it's never done. u either have to work on your projects/assingnments or prepare for tutorial or read up for lecture.......

and my first presentation is tomorrow..yikes!

and im not ready cos i couldnt attend the meeting that they had. it's just a short presentation but still............

besides that things are pretty much ok. my mom gave me yet another lecture on my poor time management and how i should spend more time with family, etc. and i totally agree with her. i mean even with my attempts and strategies to manage my time properly, it's still no working and i feel like a total failure. But i did made attempts to spend more time wit hthe family. Like i tagged along to JB on saturday evening altho i really really hate it. But i wasnt so bad and my mom got me a skirt and a top. Plus shirah got a top that i could borrow :)

shopping ALWAYS make me smile.

Labels: ramblings

| 12:19 PM |

Adieu.

Monday, September 03, 2007

"Slow down you crazy child.."

Today i went to school altho i didnt have any lessons. and i met up with Wiwiek since i needed her notes for the lecture i missed last week. And she surprised me with this paper yo-yo. haha..it was so sweet and it cheered me up. and it's so cool..haha..it's the first time i've seen such a thing and i've used it as a weapon to scare Laila. (it works!) So THANK YOU WIWIEK!(woohoo!) for being so thoughtful. hehehe...

so i realise that my minutes for last last saturday's meeting is really taking a long long time. it's so so time-consuming..whinewhinewhine......

was quite productive today cos i went to school. so yay..but i think that i should really make an oath for this sem:-

i would not be tardy.
i would do my readings before coming for lectures
I WOULD NOT PROCRASTINATE
i would focus focus and focus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i would not care what ppl are saying about me. unless i care about them..

(;

and i am affected by what he wrote cos i cried bucketfuls

and i am like so looking forward to EC with the Lailas on wednesday!!!!!!!!

*jumps around like a mad woman*

and i think i need to go toiletry shopping...and i want to get that sparkly Accesorize clutch!

some quotes of the day:-

" Just because you're senget, i have to be senget"

"being over humble is arrogance"

Labels: ramblings, random thoughts, reminiscing

| 11:05 PM |

Adieu.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

AGM 2007

and finally my lappie is back in my arms. after a lot of very difficult nights without it, it's all fixed up and it's just like brand new. i love blogging in bed. there's no sense of satisfaction like lying in bed at the end of a very long day and blogging. :)

so AGM was on Monday and my role in the JK has officially begun. a lot of things to do tha ti cant do bcos of the absence of my lappie but since it's back. i can start soon.

im heading of to KL for the weekend to attend a wedding. i've been really looking forward to this trip cos i was stuck at home for the sem break. and it's not often that i get excited going to Msia. In fact i never get excited going to Msia. But since this trip is with my extended family, i am excited to go! i even bought Baju Kurung sepcially for the wedding..haha..and not to mention shoes..white heels to be more specific. yay!

so yes..........on a more random note. i respect people's opinion of me and my decisions but ultimately i have to make choices and i am responsible for them. if i make wrong decisions i know that the people i love would be there behind me, fully aware that i have made mistakes but respecting me. but im aware that a lot of people are unhappy with me now. it's difficult.

Labels: ramblings

| 12:00 AM |

Adieu.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

so lecture ended early for today. after four lectures so far, this one looks the most promising. i mean it was the most interesting one that make me wanna sit up and listen to what the prof is talking about. he's one cool dude who can speak malay cos he did anthropological studies of pondans in Malaysia. hahaha...

so after that i had lunch with fazzy, artika ad latiff tho fazzy didnt eat. and headed to yih to help artika and zahila clean up stuff from the welcome tea, and then at the spur of the moment me and artika decided to head down to Bugis Street for shopping cos we realised that (counting this sem), it has already been three sems since we took the same lectures and promised each other to go shopping but never got around doing it. so since this is the first week of school and all, it seemed like a good time for shopping and good old girl talk which i must admit that we did a lot of just now.

which really got me thinking. i know that this is a public space and everything and it's not the best place to pour out my feelings and emotions but wth. i am afraid of commiting into a relationship. bcos when i commit myself to a relationship, which is not often i must say. i put my heart my soul and what have u into it. perhaps it's the idealistic side of me putting all this expectations to my other half since i feel that i gave everything i could. of course sometimes i must say that my everything is not enough. but by putting in my all, the heartbreak i must say is horrible if it doesnt go the way as i expect it to be. i think no word in the dictionary does justice to describe the way i feel after the end of a relationship, especially this last one. and now is the time for recovery. the time to pick myself up, reflect and somehow try to fix all the pieces of my heart back to one whole. but im afraid of meeting someone new. im afraid that i would jinx it by my expectations and my over eagerness. im afraid that i have to go through this whole process again.

so....only the brave should fall in love.

because insecure people like me would just make a whole mess out of it. sometimes i ask myself why am i so insecure. and im insecure about almost everything, it's just taht i try to hide it behind this brave front. when in actual fact, in my mind, every second, i am psycho analysing the things and people around me. hahah..ok i sound weird. but it's true! i should think more about my studies instead of these random and supposedly unimportant things going on around me.

which brings me to my next point. i just realised that i have not spelled out my aims for this sem. so my goals are as follows :-

to be on my toes about everything
to give more than i should
stay FOCUSED to my true goal!

and hopefully my dreams would be realised, i can contribute greatly to PBM and maybe one day everything would be better.

InsyAllah :)

Labels: ramblings

| 6:38 PM |

Adieu.

Monday, May 07, 2007

my 200th entry...

haha...

i blog THAT much

anyways...

i want this very badly..

i was just thinking..this whole chasing after honours. working so hard to pull up my CAP score so that i am eligible for it. but i never really question why i want it so badly. and just now while reflecting, i am really afraid that my intentions are not sincere and pure. is it really for knowledge. or is it just because i know that it would look good on my resume. is it because i want my aunties and uncles to look at me and tell my cousins to take my lead? is it because i want my friends to see thay "hey Lin is not so dumb after all"? i don't think tat i am all that academic, as in i dont think i would enjoy the process at all...but since young i've worked hard for my tests and exams but they're not really my life and soul. I noe some people who are really out there and enthusiastic about their education. how i sometimes wish i was more like them. i know that education is important. but i also know that there is more to life. what if i choose not to take my honours even if i can? what if i choose the path to becoming a housewife and a devoted mother. what if i put in my everythng into my education just for the sake of getting a good degree and getting a good job. i now tat if i do that, i would just be living in cycle after cycle bcos when i complete my university education, that is not the end. i would just enter another cycle where i would put in my heart and soul clambering for the top position. for what? money? prestige? a name in society? i am pretty damn sure that i would not be enjoying the ride. but this is life. in Singapore. I am already sucked in the system. i feel the pressure to do well because when i see my peers i get scared. i dont want to be on the losing end. who wants to be on the losing end? i feel that everything i do now is relative to what others do. which is down right depressing. it's like that dumb bell curve that NUS uses to grade us. honestly i dunno where this entry is heading to. what i know is wherever im heading to.......i dun want to not enjoy the ride. i do not want to do something for the sake of doing it. i feel like i've been doing a lot of that in my life. i dun mind feeling tired. i might whine,complain talk about giving up. but im just being my irritating and attention seeking self. but hey at least im enjoying what im doing right. so ya..that's my first aim cos i've been trying to find an aim/objective in life, and that is to not feel obligated to do the things i have to do in life. to find the true meaning behind each and every path that i take. and to not do things that i do not believe in the aim behind it even if it promises wealth and prestige.

ok i have to say that after re-reading this entry it is very badly structured. but i guess that's the way it is when i am typing and thinking at the same time. lol. it's all over the place.

Labels: ramblings

| 8:19 PM |

Adieu.