Thursday, August 16, 2007

so lecture ended early for today. after four lectures so far, this one looks the most promising. i mean it was the most interesting one that make me wanna sit up and listen to what the prof is talking about. he's one cool dude who can speak malay cos he did anthropological studies of pondans in Malaysia. hahaha...

so after that i had lunch with fazzy, artika ad latiff tho fazzy didnt eat. and headed to yih to help artika and zahila clean up stuff from the welcome tea, and then at the spur of the moment me and artika decided to head down to Bugis Street for shopping cos we realised that (counting this sem), it has already been three sems since we took the same lectures and promised each other to go shopping but never got around doing it. so since this is the first week of school and all, it seemed like a good time for shopping and good old girl talk which i must admit that we did a lot of just now.

which really got me thinking. i know that this is a public space and everything and it's not the best place to pour out my feelings and emotions but wth. i am afraid of commiting into a relationship. bcos when i commit myself to a relationship, which is not often i must say. i put my heart my soul and what have u into it. perhaps it's the idealistic side of me putting all this expectations to my other half since i feel that i gave everything i could. of course sometimes i must say that my everything is not enough. but by putting in my all, the heartbreak i must say is horrible if it doesnt go the way as i expect it to be. i think no word in the dictionary does justice to describe the way i feel after the end of a relationship, especially this last one. and now is the time for recovery. the time to pick myself up, reflect and somehow try to fix all the pieces of my heart back to one whole. but im afraid of meeting someone new. im afraid that i would jinx it by my expectations and my over eagerness. im afraid that i have to go through this whole process again.

so....only the brave should fall in love.

because insecure people like me would just make a whole mess out of it. sometimes i ask myself why am i so insecure. and im insecure about almost everything, it's just taht i try to hide it behind this brave front. when in actual fact, in my mind, every second, i am psycho analysing the things and people around me. hahah..ok i sound weird. but it's true! i should think more about my studies instead of these random and supposedly unimportant things going on around me.

which brings me to my next point. i just realised that i have not spelled out my aims for this sem. so my goals are as follows :-

to be on my toes about everything
to give more than i should
stay FOCUSED to my true goal!

and hopefully my dreams would be realised, i can contribute greatly to PBM and maybe one day everything would be better.

InsyAllah :)

Labels: ramblings

| 6:38 PM |

Adieu.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

PBMUKS Welcome Tea

Hollywood Style

Labels: welcome tea

| 1:41 AM |

Adieu.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

i took this picture at a very beautiful place today. :)

camera phones can do wonders.

today was the welcome tea for PBM. i think Artika and team really did a good job paying attention to all the details to match the Hollywood Glam theme. it was perfect, the red carpet, the spotlights, movie posters, the ticketing booth, hall of fame..etc u name it la. kudos to the team for a spectacular job done. Im looking forward to this one. i'll upload fotos tmr la. :)

First day of school was ok. i had 2 lects today. social thought and social theory and also malays of singapore. the way the MS mod was carried out was somewhat similar to Malay Families, so it's nice that i felt comfortable. i forsee sc3101 to be quite boring yet im quite excited bcos it forms the pillar of soci. overall my only complain about my 1st day of sch has ntg to do with the mods im taking but with the fact that i think tt nus is freaking overcrowded. i had to wait so long at the queue at BK just now and i couldnt get supplies from the NUS Coop cos it was too full and the queue was a killer. I DUN LIKE:(

lets hope computing is less of a pain in the ass.

Labels: first day of school, welcome tea

| 11:31 PM |

Adieu.

Monday, August 13, 2007

"Bound To Happen"

I used to know you like the back of my hand
Until today you held your place
Now you're shifting like the sand
Your chest would heave with pride if I were spoken of
'Till tonight I never knew the difference between comfort and love

Although you're sleeping right next to me
Well, it feels like you are wide awake in a distant dream
leading a life that is finally free
of these endless nights and countless fights that turn us into
who we hate to be

This is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -
nothing will ever be the same

I used to hold you like it's all that I had
Now begins the falling out, we are like a passing fad
Your mouth would crack a smile if I were spoken of
'Till tonight you never thought
you'd lose this epic battle with love

Although you're sleeping right next to me
Well, it feels like you are wide awake in a distant dream
leading a life that is finally free
of these endless nights and countless fights that turn us into
who we hate to be

And this is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -
nothing will ever be the same

For what it's worth, I've always admired you
I always thought that we could make it through
Now look what time can do
It took our masterpiece we built and broke it in two
I always believed in you
I always loved you

And this is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walk

Labels: something that made me cry today

| 3:29 PM |

Adieu.

JK PBMUKS Induction

this is very very sedap

the best cupcake i've ever tasted..verrry rich.

i enjoyed my fish with mushroom very much at Amirah's Grill...so sedap! almost beat the grilled fish in corriander sauce..ALMOST! hehehe...okay maybe the rice was nicer at Amirah's Grill. but the induction was very very long and tiring. and i missed pak andak's bdae dinner at Spize!!

(i dont tink i was supposed to upload this pic!)

but who said that we PBMUK-ers are boring and uncool.

Random Thoughts

sometimes, to move on in life, u have to make the worst decsions in your life. sometimes it might devastate and shatter your heart. but u must always keep control of your life and know what you are doing in. so that when u look back to your life, u wont regret decisions that you make in the past. self-confidence is under rated.
keep your loved ones close to you. because u need them as much as they need you.
i hate judging people. but im starting to question my position in this matter. i realise that i do judge the people i have a potential of getting closer to bcos i know that they would have an impact on my life. and somehow it makes things more superficial.
i need to follw my head instead with my heart esp when it comes to my romantic life.
i need to focus on my studies (as in reeeeeeeeeaaaally focus)
i need to be wary of my actions and stop being dumb to the most obvious things
self-discipline is key and imstill working on it.

Labels: pbmuks

| 1:34 AM |

Adieu.