and so i have something to admit. the other day, while i was doing my food recee at bukit batok, i went to a 7-11 to get myself a drink and i saw this super cute hello kitty mints. at that point of time i was in this very enthusiatic spirit to budget and safe money and i really watched what i spent on. and i stupidly did not get that very cute pack of hello kitty mints thinking that if i really wanted it i could pop by any 7-11 and get it some other time. but up till today, after entering countless 7-11s around Sinagpore i still have not found it! and i have half the mind to actually travel to bukit batok to get my hello kitty mints. sighs. the things i do. but sufiyan bought me three hello kitty stuff today. so hurrah for him! hahha..and im happier now.

so much for budgeting. the bad thing about attempting to budget is that after "starving" yourself for so long u tend to binge. and boy did i "binge" just now. i didnt intend to like shop or anything at vivo just now, but after walking out of zara and topshop empty handed i was quite happy with myslef. and then i walked into forever 21, and i saw a long dress going for a reasonable price and so i tried it on. and after that everything happened like i was in a trance. i took the dress, and walked calmly to the counter and paid for it. *smacks head*. somebody shoot me. the dress set me back $70/-. so much for saving. im back to square one :(

been a while since i blogged properly. meaning it has been a while since i had the time for a heart felt post, in which i discuss my feelings and thoughts on matters happening around me. now with foc and ppp over, i do feel a bit empty. suddenly, there's no need for rushing from one place to another. which is a nice change but at the same time i'm gonna miss doing that.

at some points during my three month long break, i did think back on my decisions to take up so many projects. i like to live life with no regrets, however, at the same time i do reflect on what i have gone through and see what could be improved. as tiring as it was, and as difficult as it was, i must say that i did not regret taking up muslimah night, foc and ppp. because i really met great great people along the way and learn a lot in terms of team dynamics, leadership (although i did not take up any leadership positions) and of course all the nitty gritty formalities that have to be done when hadling certain things. i also learn a lot about myself. and i could feel myself changing and growing up. i learnt that around the foc comm im really a huge idiot and im always laughing and i always go home smiling and happy. which is so different from who i am during my primary, secondary school and jc years, when i am very resereved about my ideas and definitely mush less confident about expressing thoughts and feelings and at the same time insecure about the way i look and present myself.

but i have learnt to overlook certain things, be less conscious and also try to take risks along the way. although they are still safe in a way, it's the first step to bigger things to come.

with that said, i do think that i was ambitious with taking up so many projects. yes i could manage them, but that would mean that my contribution to each and every committee that i was part of was much much less. in simpler words i could not be involved as a whole. i realised that i missed alot of important points of the journey that my different committees went through. and it really saddens me that i could not give my 100%. not only was i juggling my different responsibilities, being someone who is very close to my family, it was difficult for me to suddenly spend much much less time with them. i felt so distant from them and sometimes i wouldnt see my mom or sisters for days because by the time i reach home they are all asleep. relationship wise, i know that a lot of people were surprised when me and sufiyan suddenly decided to reconcile and give us another try. while the reasons are personal, i can just say that it really wasnt easy. the journey is rocky and it was difficult (though i manage to do it) to separate my personal life and my responsibilities. so i guess i'm really thankful that sufiyan stuck by me though thick and thin despite our challenges and supported me. oh and of course i missed my friends a lot. i couldnt catch up with them as much as i wanted to. and i guess i did in a way negelcted them and for that i feel so guilty.

but i did not take up the different projects blindly. i took them up because

us doing work. of course we chipped in in whatever way possible. we didn't mind looking like a karang guni man (pls refer to hidayat's pictures). man i think my ass has really ballooned :(

see ALL the work that we did can be proven by pictures...
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hehehe..jangan marah eh. main2 ajer :D

i watched interestin movie today, called The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros. going in the theatre with super bad seats and not a clue what the movie is about, i assumed from the poster that it was going to be a movie about transexuals and therefore i was looking forward to how the director was going to tackle the issue of gender. But the movie itself centred more on themes such as family and yes love. Maxie's feminity was not only tolerated but appreciated especially in his family as he takes over the role of mother. it was quite light hearted and funny at unexpected times, like when his father wanted to bring him to run away and he was carrying a powerpuff bag. haha... but after the movie i am more than convinced that sufiyan is homophobic as he was squirming through out the movie beside me, and i love the fact that the picture house distributes their tickets, in this cool sleek black mini-envelope..nice :) life's little pleasures!

i am one contented girl today. had a mini break from "work". and spent half the day with family and the other half with sufiyan as we went to check out the Minds Cafe (like finally). went for ina and shirah's Hafla. which gave me a warm fuzzy feeling looking at kids putting an event together for the mosque. i only sat through half of it as i had to rush for tuition, but it was enough to give me stomach cramps from giggling. my mom was making silly comments and seriously giggling more than me. the kids were really cute on stage with their nasyid performance which is when you can normally hear only one person's voice. some super enthusiastic ones belting the nasyid out and other shy ones holding on to their lyrics as they whispered the song. haha..they had a proze presentation also and after receiving their book prizes this primary 1 boy came up to my cousin Nurul and asked;

little boy: what's inside (the present) ? i hope it's an MP3 player.

Nurul: (in disbelief and jokingly) no la..i think i think it's an X box.

little boy: (gives an honestly disappointed face) ala..i have x box already, i want MP3 player.

hehehe..i think it's so cute :)

will upload fotos from hafla tomoro, grumpy shirah has them

but these are fotos with sufiyan

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