Saturday, October 07, 2006
what do you do in a situation where u feel that there is no way out?
when you feel that no matter waht your decision is, the outcome is going bad
what if one of your choices affects a person you hold so dear
but if you choose the other one, you're compromising your thoughts ideas and feelings
which one do you choose?
what if u need to make that decision now
a decision so important because it will affect the course of your whole life
what if in addition to all this, you have other pressing issues to tend to
how do u choose which one to deal with when all are equally important..
which do u follow..your heart? your head?
is it impossible to follow both?
what if no one understands how u feel..
and you are really stumped
who do you turn to?
what if your feel that you're running away from all your problems..but that 's the only option you have for now
what if you make the biggest mistake of your life?
what's the worst that can happen?
what if no matter how hard you try, things don't work out..
is it your fault?
if not, whose is it?
what if what if......
| 2:06 AM |
Adieu.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
alhamdulillah yesterday's iftar went on smoothly..as usual i was kanchong like nobody's business running here and there making sure that everything happens on time..honestly i was nervous as hell cos i was afraid that people would find the games bring and also because i have no idea how to hang up the kain batik like wat i was instrusted to do by latiff..i just pretended that i knew wat i was doing and nodded when he told me to do it during the meeting..hee..anw the games went on ok i think..the guests who came look like they were having fun..i hope they did cos i think adilah and faizal rawi did a great job and thankfully help made the game fun..just wished that i gave the contestants the "more difficult kuih" cos i was actually saving it for the 2nd round which unfortunately we had no time to play..so long story short i have A LOT of kuih left which i susah2 carik at geylang on sunday..hahhahaha...
and of course being myself i have to have my selenger moments and yesterday one happens to be during the plannin of the second game..i actually took the cd lagu raya from hafiz lim and spend 1 hour plus listening to it and typing out the lyrics (even ina chipped in the night before)..only to find out that you could actuallly get lyrics from the internet..i felt so stupid wen i was told that..sighs..but it was fun listening to the raya songs..oh and in the end tey only use 2 songs..and only 1 or two lines for the songs..hahaha...buat penat ajer...
with the iftar done i feel a load of my chest..not tt it was burdening..cos it was really fun..just that i was really stress(but not as stress as shamiah judging from her face yesterday..hee)..thanks to all those who came and no thank you to all those who didn't..hahhaha..
so now..my stressful mode is turning to my academics..aaarrgghh..STRESS!! (i noe this is an overused words) i am so so so so so so so so behind for my readings you have no idea..everybody in nus is so freaking hardworking..it's like when i was in school last time no matter how behind i am i know that there are people who are more behind than me..but this time round..i am REALLy behind..alamak..i need to make my soci textbook like my bestfren and my boyfren now la...(it ain't heavy, it's my txt book..hee)
in addition to that, A LOt of mid-term tests coming..soci nxt week...genes this sat..natural heritage, next friday..and my fortnight soci essay is due next weds..and as usual i'm stumped...oh plus i have a social work presentation on monday..and a social service visit this friday..hai macam2...nak pergi iftar pun tak boleh...haha...
ok la..i wanna go read that soci text book of mine...looks like it's collecting dust...
adieu
| 10:59 PM |
Adieu.
Monday, October 02, 2006
| 10:36 PM |
Adieu.
at the mosque i go to for terawih, there is this old couple..everyday, the old man would patiently hold his wife's hand and guide her to the women's praying area...he would take extra care of her while she slowly climbs up the steps..and make sure that she is comfortably settled before he take his leave to the guys praying area...then after prayer..we would normally have a little something to eat before we leave and he would again take the food to his wife..and sit down together with her while they eat..
there was this another old couple..also aqually affectionate towards each other although not obvious..my family visited them for hari raya 3 years ago..and i really respect the love they have for each other after all these years...one can really feel their love for each other when you're around them..no they do not hug or hold hands..but the way they look out for each other and look at each other is enough for you to feel the love :)
then two years ago, the husband died of a heart attack. The wife was naturally devastated. even after 2 years, tears still come to her eyes when she spoke of her late husband. and she couldn't bear to terawih at the mosque that we normally go to because it reminded her too much of her late husband.when i saw her yesterday, i couldn't count the number of times she mentioned him in the conversation she and my mom had...
i guess living in our conservative maly/muslim society..it's difficult to see affectionate behaviour between couples from the older generation (our generation is a totally different..they on the other hand are too eager to display they affections for their other half) ironically their generation was not the one that suffered from rising divorce rates and abuse cases...
so i guess my point is affection really does not mean physical contact..sometimes it's teh things that we do for our other half that matter more
:)
sorry for being mushy..
but i i really couldn't help blogging abt this after seeing those old couples..it was so sweet..:)
anw..i am having a hectic week or you can even say month..i think i won't even notice ramadhan fly by..it's so sad tat often i have to break my fast alone while teaching tuition..i am just reminded of days whe i was younger and things were simpler (how cliched..hehehe) those days everybody would be back before the time to break our fast..and we would help mama cook before azan..then we would set the table together and after that perform our prayers together..and then we would all make our way to the mosque for out terawih..it was so simple and peaceful..and i really miss those days..i guess times have change..no complaining..just reminiscing the wonderful past..
oh my goodness what's wrong with me today i am so zen..well actually i wasn't in the ,morning..i found out that i forgot to attach the proposals to the e-mails i send out to the companies ..then at tuition i couldn't solve 2 maths questions my tutee posed me..bottom line is, i screwed up..and i was panicking the whole morning and afternoon..and i felt as if my head was gonna burst..so i took a nap to my next tuition ...which was quite embarassing because i tink i slept with my mouth open...aarrggghhh..my selengernest would never go away..
i need at antidote(this is the wrong spelling) for my selenger moments...
ok la need to prepare for iftar tomoro
adieu
ps if my mom knew that i posted this pic of her she would never forgive me :P
| 9:57 PM |
Adieu.
