i watched Nancy Drew. it was okay i guess. Emma Roberts was ok . certain parts were bland (just like her). haha..oh well i expected more, i have a high tolerance for chick flicks which are totally dumb. haha..but certain parts were disappointing. ok it was good that they focused more about the mystery rather than the whole teen world at school. but in this case, a little more of her trying to fit in would be nice. when i watch the advert i guessed i expected more. i certainly expected it to be more exciting. but it was okay on a whole. on a brighter side since aesthetics motivate me, watching Nancy Drew inspires me to be as neat as a pin. omg, i really love her preppy dress sense. and yes penny loafers..so cool! haha..and the part where she has everything practical in her bag..and it's amazing the amount of things she put inside in a small bag like that. on an inspirational note from nancy drew, altho it seems unrealistic, she puts her 200% in everything she does. and it's great that she does that. that kind of tenacity and motivation would do me a whole lot of good.

i think that im the luckiest girl when it comes to family and friends. :)

im selling perfume, anybody wanna buy from me?

i lost my handphone pouch. and i really really like my handphone pouch. and i hate to lose things. but i'll keep looking around since i lost it at home. my theory that there is a toyol that have been stealing my stuff does not hold cos i found the other stuff i lost. ya im very attached to my stuff. i am materialistic. :( and shamiah was right, i am easily motivated by aesthetics.

like for example if i dun feel like doing anything, and i buy..let's say a new file, im very motivated to work so that i can use my new file. i use stuff to encourage myself. like maybe buy a new top so that i can wear it to school. i also buy food judging by it's packaging. sometimes things taste like shit but i still buy them cos it has nice packaging.

i know it's very bad and it doesnt say a lot about my character....

oh well i shall continue with more talk about stuff.

i call this "Stuff i dont understand about my style icon"

when they wear a lot of things on their wrist it's cool, when i try i look like i couldnt decide which bracelet to wear

when i involve myself in all this projects. i knew what i wanted. i wanted experience and i wanted to force myself to learn how to discipline myself. by involving myself in more than one project and at the same time making sure that i do my part for each one of them, that would force me to oragnize my life well. but now, lethargy has set in and i am doing most of my job for the sake of doing it. and therefore i think it is about time that i buck up and resume my reponsibilities properly. i cant continue this way. i would firstly not achieve my aim of taking up the projects and secondly lose out with the oppurtunities at hand. im not stupid, i noe what i was in for when i signed up for this projects, i know what i was in for, i think i lost sight of my whole intention and aim for embarking on the tasks at hand. maybe i over-estimated myself. i forgot to take into account the time for family, friends, tuition and of course sufiyan when i took up the challenge. i guess im paying for it now. rushing from one place to another, people upset with me, me being guilty cos i know that i havent done a good job, me being guilty for being late yet again, and the list just strectches.

but just now, during rehearsal something struck me. As an actor, we have always be on our feet, our mind has to always react to the situation around us. and of course there are times when the things we least expect to happen, happens. but of course we cant show the audience that we are lost. we have to act as if it was the most natural thing in the world. as if it was supposed to happen. and to do that is to quickly forgive ourselves for the mistake that we have made and move on. if we keep thinking about it, we would just be stuck in a rut. I would be stuck in a rut. my mistake was the miscaculationes in time and my capabilities. but i am going to forgive myself for always coming late, failing to fulfil promises, not being on task and not being the perfect person tt i strive to be. and now i want to move on and do a better job.

just now i went to meet the lailas. of course i miss them. altho the ec session was quieter than usual. it's just nice being around people that i am familiar with and with whom i dun have to pretend or make an effort to have a conversation with. it's nice to be able to just be myslef and not be afraid of being judged. and yes they got me presents for my birthday! haha..laila j got me the MAC eyeliner i wanted. yay! Finally a functioning eyeliner! and it's retractabble. she made up all thses weird stories about she being able to get further discounts with her oub card, so i should not get the eyeliner myself. haha. good one! i feel for it. Laila k got me an Al-Quran. it's so damn nice and it's so slim. and it comes in the shade of green that matches my tafsir book..hahah..yay! and she also got me a beautiful shawl and bracelet and dates for my mom. went around to search for smtg i could buy. smtg that could make me happy. but after browsing thru the usual zara, mango and topshop. i couldnt find anything at all. the mango sale was disappointing. i was just so sick of the whole dress thing,prints and leggings etc etc i didnt noe what to get. maybe i was not in the mood to shop for clothes. i settled for something surprisingly practical, something i needed instead of wanted. An Esprit umbrella and a secondhand book by Oscar Wilde.

i survived today...

all twelve hours of it. there were some parts where i was cranky but i kept my lips sealed. some parts i fell asleep, but i still paid attention. some parts, i felt like giving up, but i just tahan. but the most important part of it all is that i lasted the whole day. haha

oh well..maybe it's not such a big a deal.

since my bdae has just passed, i had a bit of money to spend. but funny thing is after being broke for so damn freaking long. i dont feel like spending my money. i feel like keeping it and never ever spending it. i feel like being miss scrooge. ok let's see how long this feeling would last. i pray that it's for a long long time. paid a visit to a bookstore today after so so so long...i feel like a bimbo once i enter a bookstore bcos i would always head for the magazine rack while my more intelligent friends (ie. the lailas) would always search for a book that they have heard off that is very good written by some well-known author that i of course do not know anything about. or searching for some arst fartsy material that i have never heard off. yes i am not very well-informed. and i rarely spend on books, i am more willing to spend on magazines. i really hate to say this because i always deny it. but i am so vain. sighs.

but i know that no matter how vain and bimbo i can get, there are ppl who are far far far far far far far far worst than me...and im thankful for that. as mean as that sounds. lol.

oh anyhoos i got myself a local magazine. i dun really like local magazines... not because i am a snobbish person who would only touch stuff produced overseas. but i just dun find the items that local magazines showcase unique or creative. sometimes i also think that the layouts are boring. i am of course speaking about fashion magazines. maybe the situation is much more different now cos i havent bought any of those magazines for a long long time. but anyways the only local magazines which i think is worth buying is Style and Harpers Bazaar. i bought Style just now, and it suddenly reminded me how much i missed reading up about fashion. how much i missed coming up with unique outfits to wear. cos since it has been rehearsals day in and day out, i have become lazy and stick to comfortable pants and my black samsui women-like pumps which is comfortable enough for me to run around in and of course the tiny hole at the tip of it makes ventilation possible. bye bye smelly feet.

so tomoro when i meet the lailas. i wanna get smtg pretty and cheap.

told you the miss scrooge moment wont last long.

:)