Saturday, March 17, 2007
today ..this was the most important thing that happened to me (; but u noe what..i think he's scared of me la...i think it was my eyes..it made me look psycho...when i was grinnig esp. ok i must admit at first i was like delirous...then super shy when Fezhah told him i wanted to take a pic with him..then embarassed..think he's scared of me :( and then i was cool..hahhahaha he's nice..a big teddy bear i think..he's shy...but hery guess what at least i got to talk to him while giving him instructions on stage..hahhha..oh well it was smtg...honestly i dunno what i'd do if i were to meet Buble..roll over and die perhaps
so besides that..there was nothing much.....just Melayu ku sayang
haha..joke
Did i mention that Imran Ajmain came? hahha..guess i forgot...
cute ppl look like this..hahhah
Laila's poster..success once more (;
i wasnt acting busy.....i was just acting
one day..when i'm braver..i'll join them :P
oooo sleeq came too..they are very cool and slick
ok even i thot that was lame...
hahha
El-Hazeeq
ok i admit..i WAS swooning backstage
hehhehe
Minah Indon..
camwwhores....... -_-
stage managers (pengurus pentas ??) hahhaha
i'll show u mine if u show me yours...
i wasnt singing i swear..mike test la
ooooo...the emcees who rocked!
membaca adalah tabiat baik..
the contestants
emcees working their magic
my beloved......
| 10:33 PM |
Adieu.
oh goodness..i feel like shit again....my grades suck! no matter how hard i try. it's difficult to ignore it. i'm trying to take it in my stride. but it's just so hard. i dunno why. i dun want it to affect me so much. i want to move on and try some more. but i'm experiencing fatigue.
i dun wanna blame my involvement in PBM. i put myself into it. and i Love doing it. i suck academicaly but at least im appreciated in pbm. and i now what success feels like only when i'm in PBM.
from now on, i prmise not to rely so much on ppl. to learn to stand on my 2 feet. and to be as independent as possible. i would not involve ppl emotionally in my life anymore. i would keep to myself more and keep my thoughts to myself. i want to be strong. and as much as possible, i wil appear confident and care free. i noe i can do this.
emotionally and physically drained
Lin
| 12:09 AM |
Adieu.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
death..knows no boundary. is blind when it comes to age or skin colour. in life, amidst our busy-ness..we forget and we neglect. we dun appreciate. we become ungrateful. let us remind ourselves that one day all that is on earth will not matter anymore. the threads on our skin, the grades that we get. All that's left is what we have with Allah. so let's keep our loved ones close to us and Allah closer.
in loving memory of Uncle Mazlan
Al-Faatihah
Nothing loved is ever truly lost, and pain is a small price to pay for memories
| 9:29 PM |
Adieu.
Motivation, Inspiration and a Boost of Confidence
I so hate angsty entries. dun you?.haha. ok i'm such in a holiday mood right now. such irony with many deadlines approaching and with cakap petah drawing nearer and nearer. and i just dun feel like doing anything. many times i just wish that i was i had a whole day to myself. a day when i could just spend some the morning having breakfast with my family. (i really miss them...my mom was really funny yesterday..she told us in a serious voice that she had a family announcement to make..and she pulled out this fruit..and she asked, "do you noe what fruit is this?"....hahaha..it was buah pinang btw..i've never seen it in my life). then maybe i could have some time to myself..just me and my lappie..or maybe a book..it's been some time since i read a book..in a cafe..sipping tea latte.or maybe the goddiva drink i've been dreaming about..and of course my cookies and my strawberry chocolate that i just discovered this week. and then maybe i could meet up with my friends and we could go shopping..i love shopping..real shopping with buying and all..hahha..then i woulndt have to be as pathetic as now where i spend some time every night surfing through websites, looking at shoes and bags and tops...t's just so sad..i'll post up some ofthe really nice bags i saw online some other time. haha..anw i bought a top from miss selfridge yesterday. it's so pretty and cheap too cos it was like on sale. i was lucky that it was my size. the top i wanted to buy that topshop top i've been eyeing but after trying it on yesterday..i realized taht it looks absolutely awful on me. te size ten was too big and it was transparent. oh well. we were not fated. anyhoos..i better go cos i gotta do te methodology part of myy famiyl project. blah. i feel sucky these days. i need something to motivate me and to boost my confidence just a little bit.
Adieu
| 12:41 PM |
Adieu.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
what was i thinking about?
that honours i was dreaming about was long gone ..and i could still like dream of pulling my CAP up. what kind of stupid nonsense is that. i kissed it away a long time ago when i screwed up my first sem exams. what the hell was i talking about. ok maybe i did get into nus. but that was because of Allah. i prayed so hard that with my screwed up results they would accept me and they did. an now that im in here i feelin like im wading in quicksand. where if there was any one moment when i'm not moving the sand would pull me down and when i do struggle i just sink deeper. i was not smart to begin with. all that academic success tasted in my early years was just a product of practise and knowing the the loops and holes in the exam world. i dunno why that i am struggling so hard to prove myself. some ppl really have it in them. and it feels unfair. but who said life was gonna be fair. i dunno why im so demoralised..perhaps it's because i found out some of my friend's CAP score. man this SHIT matters. all that crap about a degree being just a piece of paper is pure BULLSHIT la. of course it matters! saying it does not matter is just something u say to comfort dumb ppl like me. but im not comforted at all. oh man...what am i gonna do with my life. i keep thinking that perhaps i'm destined for greater things. but what? what the hell am i good at. even if they found something..i'm probably good at something which does not matter at all..like maybe i'm good at washing the dishes. but WHO THE HELL CARES?!
this is such an angsty entry..
i noe
i was simply dying to blog
adieu
ps. to my frens..u dun have to mak me feel better. really i mean it.
| 10:39 PM |
Adieu.
Busy and i may not reply
i think im gonna die from not blogging already..i cant believe i have no time to blog..that is absolutely absurd..ok anw..this is what has happened so far.
1) i checked my family group project and i realized that for some reason other my part has been erased completely. i dunno why but the argument that i have raised was apparently not the same as the group's which really puzzled me because after the group meeting i thot we had come to a concensus. anw i was upset bacause i was like not part of the group..and it just made me feel so dumb that my words are not worth it and my english is like not good enough or something..ya that's the thing. my original part looked like it was written by a primary one kid as compared to the new part and i am absolutely embarrassed.
2) i have not been up to date with my methods assingnment and it is due on the 2nd of April and i'm getting worried cause i am so caught up with everything else.
3) cakap petah and melayuku sayang is this SATURDAY!!!!and guess who is gonna be there????? IMRAN AJMAIN! yay! and im the assistant stage manager..double yay..i so so hope that i can take a picture with him..oh god please.
4) i am so bloody busy this week i have no idea why.....my day is packed by the hour and i am exhausted...i am so ashamed cos i came home and literally fainted on my bed for the last two days...that means that when i reached home i did not do any work at all....gasp! but yesterday we went for dinner after arab class and that helped to lighten the mood quite a bit.
5) my theatre studies test was seriously crap. im not trying to be modest here or exagerate the extend of the damage done. but it was really horrible. i could only manage to do half the questions and that itself was crap. and the other half i cant even answer. damn it i am so so ashamed to face miss samosir. i really hope tomoro's prac session would go on well. oh what the shit the paper is like 25% of my marks la. Holy Crap! i am really bring down my CAP score further like nobody's business..i am so disappointed la cos i only studied the book. i should have studied the lecture notes. oh crap i wouldnt be surprised if i get a single digit score. oh no!!!! i am gonna die and there's ntg i can do about it.
i really feel like crap about that test and i feel like burying my head in the sand.
and my mom has like hinted that i should try put aside time for the family which itotally agree......
oh well....right now i only have my chocolates and not to forget my wonderfuuuul wonderfuull frens to help me along
so who's coming for cakap petah? :)
| 10:15 AM |
Adieu.
Monday, March 12, 2007
i love these kids (:
| 12:09 AM |
Adieu.