and we bonded over Canadian pizza for iftar. and throwing the "surprise" birthday party for Adilah. i hope as time goes on we improve on this section cos adilah so suspected that we were going to celebrate her birthday la. haha. but it was still nice. for once im too tired to upload pictures like tonight. and i shall wait for artika's fotos with her brand new camera complete with our ridiculous jumping shots.

some random stuff that i learnt about myslef.

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  when im angry or irritated with someone, i will avoid that person. the reason for doing so is that i hate confrontation. usually that person will not even know that i am angry/irritated with him/her. if she/he suspects that smtg is amiss, i would put up a front and say that everything is fine. more often than not, people will fall for that. sometimes if that person knows me better he/she will probe me. but usually i will convince them that im ok when in actual fact im not. this is because i am lazy to talk about it if i see no point to it. then i would keep to myslef and get over it. and then return back to normal. and no one would suspect that anything is amiss.


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  i hate it when people force me to talk about my feelings when i dun feel like it. cos i feel lazy to express my feelings and i want to avoid drama.


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  since i avoid drama and confrontation so much. much of my feelings are bottled and i always always have weird dreams of confronting someone and yes getting into a fight with some random person whom i dun even noe exist. like punching, slapping and all. and when i wake up i feel lighter. like i feel a weight lifted from me. so therefore i think that i have a natural mechanism for releasing this type of tension.


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  i get mad easily but i dun show it so much. but when im mad. it' s easy to pacify my feelings. like showing me an act of kindness, or talking to me nicely. or buying me gifts. hahah.. no la small gestures of kindness is enough to melt my angry heart. it really doesnt take much.


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  when i do smtg embarassing (which is often) or hurt someone's feelings unknowingly or when someone criticizes/ makes fun of me... that particular event will play in my head over and over again. and i will get embarassed over and over again for the whole day. i noe..it's really torture. like for example there was one time, i was talking to my friend and my spit like landed on her face. it's just really a little bit. but i was so embarrassed, i couldnt stop thinking about it the whole day. it was agony. this is really bad cos small little things affect me. and im trying to get over this.


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  i think a lot. not necessarily about intellectual stuff. but like merepek stuff. especially about those i care. if my mom is like due home at a particular time and she's not home, i will always worry that she got kidnapped by mafias or something. and if i messaged someone and he/she doesnt reply me. i will think that s/he doesnt like me. i noe it's stupid. but i cannot help it. and i always have this feeling that ppl hate me. i think it's got to do with my self-confidence. i hated myself a lot during my crescent and early Jc days.


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  i dun like to hurt ppl's feelings. i noe no one does. but for me sometimes it's bad cos i cant criticize my frens or family. i love them and i just dun have the heart to tell them the honest truth sometimes as to avoid hurting their feelings. like if someone cant do smtg well and asks for my opinion i would not give any negative opinions.


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  im a very very lazy person. i would really surprise u. :p

Labels: me