i logged on to my blogger account not able to decide what to say about the company preview. yes i was disappointed. that's the thing about company previews, it makes you feel like the biggest loser, the worst actress in my case. i makes me feel like i was born with no talent. it makes me the lowest of low. it just makes me feel like i couldnt do anything right because the truth was i did put in my best yesterday and that was the response i got. when i look at disppointed faces, i realise that i havent had that in a long long time. i havent handled criticisms in a long long time, in fact i think that i am bad at handling them. i always try my best so that i dont have to face that disappointed face. i realise that in my life, my biggest critic is myself. even when i handle projects for pbm,etc, i know my own mistakes. like for pentas budaya when i know that i did and am doing a horrible job, i know that it was my doing. nobody scolded me, nobody showed me that they were unhappy but i knew that i wasn't doing my best. maybe that's what i need..more critcism..constructive ones that is...and i need to handle them like a WOMAN and pick myself up after that. i know it builds character. i know that when it hurts really alot. but it came after two full days of pure fun and maybe too much laughter on my part. haha :)