i am frustrated. i am goin to reiterate this point once again. i don't need a man. i am happy the way i am. i do not feel that having a partner will complete me. i have a good support system and making me making this statement is not a sigh of arrogance, ignorance or to express the sudden bout of feminist sentiment in me. i am just fed up. i do feel that my life is complete. i am whole. i am not saying that i am rejecting the notion of finding a boyfriend or rejecting someone suitable that comes along. I am just saying that I am not looking. Good if He decides to turn up on my doorstep, and it's ok if he's late or never coming. i can manage on my own. maybe i do experience pangs of loneliness here and there and moments where i just long to be in the arms of that SOMEONE. but you know what, i think i'll get over it. and if i'm feeling that way, i'm probably just PMSing. i feel trapped in this cycle. yet determined to change its course. determine to make it work this time around and unsure whether it would end up just like the last time. i dunno what's keeping me going. i dunno why im listening to that little part in my heart. i dunno why i'm taking in all the pain. but i noe that this time it would be different in the sense that i would not involve others, whom i'm very sure are just puzzled about what the hell i am doing. i do. feel that way that is. when i stand back and analyze things. i ask myself why? what makes me think that it'd work this time round. but yet I'm here trying for the umpteenth time.