Wednesday, November 08, 2006
I have not been commenting a lot about my past relationship. I guess not many ppl noe the real situation between wat happened between me and sufiayn. To me that is something private between us and I just think that it is inappropriate to address such a private matter in a public blog. All our problems,trials and tribulations..no matter how much I tell my very closest of closest friends what happened between the both of us, nobody would noe the situation better than the both of us. My intention here is not to explain the real situation…neither it is to blame anybody for what happened..but I just wanna make a comment about how powerful the blog really is. How it can really reach the masses. I respect sufiyan’s decision on having his own blog to pour out his feelings to. I know that NS sucks and that I’m not able to be there for him as a friend. But it is just very hurtful how people judge me from there. I cannot pretend that I am not affected when someone says something like I am not good enough for him. But I do think that nobody has the right to judge me based on what was written in a blog entry. I noe that I put in ALL my effort into the relationship. And when the relationship still failed in the end I noe my flaws and why I made a decision to do so.
All these are just a little bit of my thoughts and opinions about my own relationship. I just wished that the world isn’t so judgmental (I noe how naïve can I be). We are nobody to pass judgments or comments on other people’s lives and the way they live it. Because I always believe that as much as you understand or noe a situation that another individual is going thru, you will never noe exactly how he or she feels because you were not in that particular’s individual shoes. We may wonder why that individual decided to take that step or go in that certain direction. Although we feel that we noe that that individual person is making a mistake, we must respect his or her space and privacy and trust that the decision that they are making.
I also know that I am not a perfect human being, and that in my life I have made judgmental comments or criticize situations that other people are in. But I just hope that I did not hurt anybody’s feelings by potraying my opinions openly. If I did I guess I want to apologise for my doings.
So now I noe that there are certain things that I can do to protect myself from getting hurt. I just hope that people respect my privacy on that matter and also not judge me on my decision to end it with sufiyan. it was not his fault and he is a fantastic person and no matter wat happens in the end he will alway sbe special. pls dun judge my friendship with fadzli, it's not his fault that he's stuck helping me around nus.
I have been thru a lot for the whole of this year. It is truly a never-ending roller coaster ride for me. But Alhamdulillah, I have had a strong support system behind me for which without it I am not where I am today. A friend ironically asked me how come I am always to happy. Truth be told I was surprised that the question was posed to me although it wasn’t the first time I was asked a similar question. I told him that it was my family and friends. Which I truly feel is true. I noe what it is like to have no friends. I pray that I will never be in that unfortunate situation again. Although he attributed it to my cheerful nature, as I thot about it before drifting off to sleep, I realize that I appreciate every single small thing that makes me happy. Catching an early bus, doing an assingnment well, a smile from a stranger or from some one I noe. But most of all I attribute it To Allah s.a.w. who I noe I is the only constant in my life.insyallah.
Adieu all
| 10:06 PM |
Adieu.
