Thursday, September 21, 2006
so i finally finally got baby back.evrything is like gone la..everything. they changed the hard disk and all..was quite upset cos i lost like photos and programs and stuff and i have to install everything again. sighs..but then again ..i noe i have to look on the bright side of life...just not in the mood..yet..
today i had tok din's class again..only now i undersatnd wat he has been trying to say for the past two lectures. now then i understand the connection between the malay feudal system in the past and malays now. and also the impct of feudalism on the modernisation of malays (or the lack of it). well just now wen he spoke. he kind of hit a nerve. welll one of the characteristic brought forward from the feudal system values was the lack of willingness to take charge of one's life and to also think lowly of one's ability. u noe like saying "who am i to challenge *insert name of a person of authority here*? i am nothing. i am not half as smart as tht person" and i noe that i always do that to myself. been doing a lot pf reflecting. like i always do. and i thot to myself that i dun belong in nus. i just dun feel like i'm part of it. i just dun have the passion for wat i'm learning for. tis reflection was done after i did my soci essay. i realised that i had a lot of difficulty doin each one of my essays and that i always resort to asking fadzli for help in the end. i just wonder really..where's my aptitude? or should i say?wat am i really really butt-kicking good at? and i realise i dunno..i look around at all the ppl close to me and i can rattle off all their abilities and strong points but i cannot bring yself to do the same about myself. i feel that i'm slowly losing myself academically day by day. by that i mean a lot of the questions i ask are not smart questions. i dun comment well...and i just dun feel like i'm good enough....maybe it's the whole shifting to the arts things. but god help me i hate giving excuses. i noe that i should get off my ass and do smtg abt it. but i dunno where to start and i guess i'm a little overwhelmed.
gosh tomoro's my test. it's a bloody open book test and i just wanna do well la. got a B- for my last soci essay. that one also after i thot that i put in a lot of effort.
oh no mu blog's getting boring...
so anyway..yesterday hazimah messaged me a piece of very good news...155cm is actually equals to 5 ft 2 inc..yayness!!!! i am as tall as mary-kate and asley whichever one..now u noe why they're my style icos..it's bcos thy're short like me but they still look good in their wonderful clothes..yay!! call me kental or watever la but i still love their fashion sense...
anw..my mom message me "i miss u" and i felt so happy that i didn't want to delete the message. it got me smiling for the rest of the day.
ala tomoro got test...i dun like:(
bye la
| 9:15 PM |
Adieu.
