high heels and lip stick

2007-10-15T18:40:00.000+08:00

2007-10-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

cranky :-
ill-tempered; grouchy; cross

2007-10-09T22:52:00.000+08:00

this is my good friend haikal. this guy and me we go waaaaaaaaaaay back. lol. he's one of my oldest friend that i have. he is also my first love. lol. i know it's so kental. so yesterday we had this impromptou iftar after school and for the first time in my life i rode on a bike. if my mother ever found out i am worst than dead meat. BUT she shall never find out. haha. but i had lots of fun going down the memory lane with this guy and we promise each other that when they are gonna tear down our beloved primary school, we will be there with flowers crying and dragging our good old friend shirazee along. lol. sighs.

so besides that i am just boring ol' me. my face is breaking out for no apparent reason but i think it's a conspiracy to make me take ugly pictures for hari raya on saturday. sighs. been trying to catch up with a gazillion readings and am pretty bummed out that i have lessons till 4 on the eve of hari raya. boo! and this week i totally dun have the mood to touch my work. tomoro the JK has decided to tape a silly raya song. hahahhahahha...i hope i dun die from laughter. i think i wanna get false eyelashes and get henna done on my hands for raya but i so totally have no time at all. i wanna spring clean my room but i also do not have the time for that. ok i dunno what im blabbing it's starting to get inchoherent.

ok bottom line is..i wanna do a lot of things before this saturday..BUT......i have no time.

i hope my face clears up.

oh and i hope i find my watch. it's like the 100th thing that i lost this year. BIG bummer.

2007-10-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

my fortune cookie says;

Stop procrastinating. Go study.

damn it. im in my Hari Raya mood. and i cant do any work :(

2007-10-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

i think about a week ago i blogged about this very stylish baby who was wearing a very cool leopard print hoodie. and i realised after browsing around that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes's baby Suri is seriously one stylish baby. i mean i really dunno what's up with her weird parents but she's really pretty and stylish. i think her clothes are nicer than mine. sheesh.

anyhoos...

I've been thinking. i think im a lot less uptight these days which is good and bad. it's good because im not so affected with small small things. like i dun fret when i dun come exactly on time for lectures. lol. and when i dun things perfectly the way i want them, i dun beat myself up. i just let it go and try harder the next time. the bad part is, i've been neglecting PBM. minutes espcially and i noe that im not the most efficient secretary. sighs. and also academically altho im better than the very first sem, it's still very slack. and at home, i havent been contributing to the household chores. and i feel very bad but im so busy and lazy. sighs. i feel this immense guilt towards my mom. BUT. i am happier these days :). so i shall just forgive myself for my shortcomings and try to make my mom happier and hope i can contribute significantly to PBM. (and most importantly WAKE UP FROM MY LA LA LAND and take my studies seriously) lol

2007-10-06T00:37:00.000+08:00

artika, yasmine and me

girls who can shop anywhere,anyplace, anytime ...

lol

we spent God noes how long at the one dollar accessory shop...haha. so finally i settled on a pseudo jade ring, a corsage brooch and hair ties. then we headed down for iftar at MegaBites.

my mom got me another baju kurung.

hurrah!

and can you believe how time flies. Hari Raya is like next Saturday. and im like thinking how can i spruce up my outfit for Hari Raya. like be really creative and come up with something unique. my bag and accesories this year are pretty normal and simple and nothing out of the ordinary. so maybe i could experiment with......make up? hmmmm..mayyyyyybeeeee..i dunno but i am so out of ideas.

2007-10-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

oh and btw...have you heard?

yes yes sex and the city will be coming out on the big screens next year!

so exciting only!

image from lolita.blogg.se

ps. on a totally random note: i love the smell of cucumber extracts in my cleanser and toner! (altho i dun eat cucumber at all..it sure feels nice on my skin :) )

2007-10-04T18:46:00.000+08:00

i have a test tommorrow!

open book!

and i am like so not ready.

had loads of good things to blog. but im too tired. starting from the veil issue that was discussed in Gender lecture today to my sleeping problem. no not lack of sleep but more of too much of it. Sleep is really really bad for me cos it is sooooooooo difficult for me to wake up. for this past week i have tried tactics such as putting the alarm further from me so that i have to walk to the alarm, and thus wake up. (i couldnt hear the alarm and woke up later than usual). had people to give me a wake up calls ( i either went back to bed or didnt pick up the call cos i didnt hear it). i dunno why but it is getting more and more difficult to separate with my sheets every morning. on the bright side, i take a shorter time to get ready for school nowadays. (30 mins flat. woohoo!)

okay yesterday was a really really nice break for me. despite the hiccups i was glad that things fell into place. sometimes all your plans really just screw you up in your face and how u salvage the situation under the circumstance is really a true testament of who your character. :) . btw arent cupcakes from marmalade pantry so delish! So moist and rich that it's sinful. lol. definitely popping down there one of these days after Raya.

Hope everybody is making full use of this last ten nights of Ramadhan. cause i havent :(. This Ramadhan feels different. i skipped so many terawih sessions to finish up or do my readings/assingnments etc. no excuse i know cos a lot of ppl just make do with terawihing at home. :'( so i realy hope i get the blessings of lailatulqadar. insyAllah.

iftar with jk 06/07/08 tmr.

happiness.

2007-10-02T20:53:00.001+08:00

am at the library now. has been a really long day for me today starting with morning at the computer lab trying to finish my web page to be submitted this friday. yup. all done. but as usual, in true Lin style. things did cock up. well kind off. the web page was supposedly uploaded but i cant view it. sighs. i'll figure it out tomoro since there's no computing lecture. and then after that came my two lectures for social thought and Malays of Singapore. and here i am at the library trying to prepare for Friday's test. but of course i'm distarcted by Jason Mraz.

oh goodnes gracious i cannot stop raving about this guy. he's so talented. i love his voice. and he's so happy. just listen to his lyrics that he writes! and while listening to him on YouTube i have this urge to sing or hum along to every one of his songs but i know i cant and it's frustrating. the most i could do is like tap my feet along to the beat. oh the agony! he's one of the very few musicians that i feel like marrying. lol.

but back to reality. i have a childhood and youth mid term on Friday. i can cry. it's open book and the lecturer had very vague instructions on how to prepare for the paper. and i bet everbody else is like super prepared. it really irks me that everybody else in this school is so on task. with their notes and all, all set and ready for the paper and i havent even finished my readings! ok im angsty. shall not be angsty and go back to work.

2007-10-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

2007-10-01T17:13:00.000+08:00

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that i melted
I fell right through the cracks, and i'm tryin to get back
before the cool done run out i'll be givin it my best test
and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love
listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melody
It's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved Loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate, i'm yours

I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm a sayin'is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
it cannot wait, i'm sure
there's no need to complicate
our time is short
it cannot wait, i'm yours

i LOVE JASON MRAZ SO SO MUCH!

coolest musician on the planet

and i love the lyrics he writes!

and it helps that i think he's cute

romantic love is so over rated...so broaden your mind.

lol

ps. sorry for the rather boring posts lately. been pretty busy and am out of stuff to report about. haha. gosh i need to go out to buy shoes son or else i will pop!

2007-09-29T21:15:00.000+08:00

spent the whole day at eastwood, in front of the com with nurul. you tubing gilmore girls. damn it jess is so cute and perfect for rory why did he have to be such a jerk. oh btw..this is one of my favourite scenes. i took a quiz one and the Gilmore Girls character that im most similar to is Sookie. yay! and Sookie is rarely angry so this is one scene where she is..she's the only perosn that can be angry and cute at the same time. lol. and i think her kitchen and lorelai's inn are my favourite places in Stars Hollow. actually i wish i was living in stars hollow.

2007-09-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

i have a soft spot for babies

but a softer spot for adorable babies in leopard print hoodies that crawl up to me

2007-09-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

tired.

almost five hours of meeting

followed by a clean up session of the pbm store

which was more fun since we did it together, but i got tired for a totally different reason.

for laughing too much.

hahaha..ok la at least now our pbm store is like damn organized.

and i think AJ is happy with us.

and we bonded over Canadian pizza for iftar. and throwing the "surprise" birthday party for Adilah. i hope as time goes on we improve on this section cos adilah so suspected that we were going to celebrate her birthday la. haha. but it was still nice. for once im too tired to upload pictures like tonight. and i shall wait for artika's fotos with her brand new camera complete with our ridiculous jumping shots.

some random stuff that i learnt about myslef.

when im angry or irritated with someone, i will avoid that person. the reason for doing so is that i hate confrontation. usually that person will not even know that i am angry/irritated with him/her. if she/he suspects that smtg is amiss, i would put up a front and say that everything is fine. more often than not, people will fall for that. sometimes if that person knows me better he/she will probe me. but usually i will convince them that im ok when in actual fact im not. this is because i am lazy to talk about it if i see no point to it. then i would keep to myslef and get over it. and then return back to normal. and no one would suspect that anything is amiss.

i hate it when people force me to talk about my feelings when i dun feel like it. cos i feel lazy to express my feelings and i want to avoid drama.

since i avoid drama and confrontation so much. much of my feelings are bottled and i always always have weird dreams of confronting someone and yes getting into a fight with some random person whom i dun even noe exist. like punching, slapping and all. and when i wake up i feel lighter. like i feel a weight lifted from me. so therefore i think that i have a natural mechanism for releasing this type of tension.

i get mad easily but i dun show it so much. but when im mad. it' s easy to pacify my feelings. like showing me an act of kindness, or talking to me nicely. or buying me gifts. hahah.. no la small gestures of kindness is enough to melt my angry heart. it really doesnt take much.

when i do smtg embarassing (which is often) or hurt someone's feelings unknowingly or when someone criticizes/ makes fun of me... that particular event will play in my head over and over again. and i will get embarassed over and over again for the whole day. i noe..it's really torture. like for example there was one time, i was talking to my friend and my spit like landed on her face. it's just really a little bit. but i was so embarrassed, i couldnt stop thinking about it the whole day. it was agony. this is really bad cos small little things affect me. and im trying to get over this.

i think a lot. not necessarily about intellectual stuff. but like merepek stuff. especially about those i care. if my mom is like due home at a particular time and she's not home, i will always worry that she got kidnapped by mafias or something. and if i messaged someone and he/she doesnt reply me. i will think that s/he doesnt like me. i noe it's stupid. but i cannot help it. and i always have this feeling that ppl hate me. i think it's got to do with my self-confidence. i hated myself a lot during my crescent and early Jc days.

i dun like to hurt ppl's feelings. i noe no one does. but for me sometimes it's bad cos i cant criticize my frens or family. i love them and i just dun have the heart to tell them the honest truth sometimes as to avoid hurting their feelings. like if someone cant do smtg well and asks for my opinion i would not give any negative opinions.

im a very very lazy person. i would really surprise u. :p

2007-09-26T01:16:00.000+08:00

laila introduced me to this cool singer

i dun listen to music much but she's damn cool la

i really like the video (:

laila: don't tell people about her... hehe she's fantastic but it shall be our little secret

oh ya ya i have to admit that she's my source of cool-ness ..bleagh @_@

2007-09-26T00:53:00.000+08:00

seni meeting/ iftar/make-fun-of-Latiff session

2007-09-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

they made the resident bad boy of the mosque turn over a new leaf
instead of racing in front of us during prayers
he now collects the donation from the makciks
and has to endure them pinching him
i think he learnt his lesson

2007-09-24T00:05:00.000+08:00

The heart was made to be broken

-Oscar Wilde

2007-09-23T16:44:00.000+08:00

This is love ...

i might not know a lot about phones or even the model of this phone except for the fact that it is from LG and it is called Shine. but this is love alright........

and it even comes in PINK. this is definitely fate..i am sure

not to say that i dun love my present pink v3x which is amazing i must say. the camera function is an overused function. haha..but maybe with all these changes in my life and the emotional highs and lows. this phone would make me feel A LOT better. yes it will! :)

2007-09-23T00:53:00.000+08:00

so today it was my family's turn to host iftar for our extended family

not full attendance cos Dosh and Wan wasnt there..and PakBusu of course who's still far far away at Dubai. but it was still fun nonetheless as usual. im wondering why im not sick of them altho i see them every Friday..hmmm......

anyways..i cant say enough how i feel that my mom is such a terrific cook. us girls spent the whole day in th kitchen starting at eleven and ending only when our guests start arriving. on the menu was my mom's famous mee siam (i never eat anyone else's mee siam), spagetthi bolognaise (which was wiped clean, i think because i prepared the pasta..hahaha), nasi jagung and ayam masak merah(my personal favourites!) and lots lots more with the other families bringing more food from sushi to donuts from Dunkin Donuts. Kak Ya brought us yummy cupcakes that she baked. it's really tasty, i love the fact that the cupcakes were not cakey with lots and lots of icing.

Then i decided to join them for their trip to the Bazaar. Although i live at Geylang and practically beside the Bazaar. I very very very rarely visit it and today was my first time this year. but of course despite the heat and the crowd, it was still just nice to look around at what they have. well it's similar to previous years. The sparkly kebayas, fake goods (hehhe), bunga api which the Eastwood family had their chance replenish their stock. Thank goodness cos Hari Raya Eve last year we had to drive around looking for bunga api....hahaha...the boys got themselves capal. so now besides matching baju kurung, they have matching footwear. us girls decided to be cooler than them. got meself my Hari Raya clutch! woohoo! white to match my shoes.

im very sad to hear that they are already airing Hari Raya songs :(

so ten days into Ramadhan. hope everybody have been having a fruitful Ramadhan. sem break next week! time to catch up with projects and assingnments. i've been holding up fine these days just a little bit of hiccups here and there. the thing about me is that i tend to look back a lot. but im taking life a step at a time. so i'll be signing off here..hopefully everybody would be able to collect extra "points" this Ramadhan.

2007-09-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

oh my my....

look at how relaxed i am

gender reaction due tomorro and im still not done

*shakes head*

2007-09-18T20:54:00.000+08:00

Buka to-gather2 (:

2007-09-18T01:17:00.001+08:00

Nice Pants! :)

i think my parents are really really pissed of with me..so im gonna be a good girl now.

iftar went well today..won meself chocolates. i now feel very very old cos it feels like it was just yesterday that i organized Salam Ukhwah.

i really cant wait for the break next week cos i think that it would be a really good time to catch up with work and readings.

and yes im still stuck on that gender reaction paper.

2007-09-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

what in the world is Hegemonic masculinity?

im so pening over gender....

so i went to surf websites..

and i found very very nice stuff that makes me want my own house right now!

i want my study room to be like this.....

image from stylecourt.blogspot.com

and i also cant wait to own my very own kitchen (:

image from smallspacestyle.blogspot.com

and if my cooking skills is good enough i'll whip up smtg as nice as my kitchen

images from ohjoy.blogs.com

image from designsponge.blogspot.com

i wonder whether i can buy enough frames to do this...hmmm..

images from rowhousecreative.blogspot.com

check out this website! i love the photos!

http://bloom-grow-love.blogspot.com/

actually there are a million other websites to explore, and everything is so pretty and exciting. i feel like quiting school to become a socialite..........i'll be a very poor one if i do that now. hahahahaha...so i shall just try to do this reaction paper so that i get my degree :(

broke fast at Eastwood just now.

family gatherings make me happy most of the time

no matter how often it happens

having a close knitted family is very high maintenance at times

but i think that it's all worth it

so next week the gang would be heading down to my house (:

sweet.....

random photo taken at mak lang's garden

2007-09-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

was chatting with my good old friend haikal online

and he asked me to check out this song....

it's so emo and sad

Malay songs tend to affect you in a way that's different from English songs

Sinaran mata
Cerita segalanya
Duka lara terpendam
Memori semalam

Tinggal segala cinta
Tiada kembalinya
Abadi kasih kita
Kau bawa bersama

Mimpi indah mekar
Saat cinta bersemi
Sedetik asmara syurga
Selamanya

Pergilah rinduku
Hilangkan dirimu
Tak sanggup menanggung
Derita dikalbu

Pergilah sayangku
Bermula semula
Semangat cintaku
Membara kerana dia

Tiada niatku

Tersemat dijiwa
Setia bersamanya
Cinta murni berdua
Beribu teguhnya

Mimpi indah mekar
Saat cinta bersemi
Sedetik asmara syurga
Selamanya

Pergilah rinduku
Hilangkan dirimu
Tak sanggup menanggung
Derita dikalbu

Pergilah sayangku
Bermula semula
Semangat cintaku
Membara kerana dia
Tiada niatku

Maafkan aku duhai kasih
Izinkan ku pergi

2007-09-13T20:32:00.000+08:00

Glamouricious 2 rocks socks!

besides my love for clothes, shoes, bags, theatre and long walks on the beach, i must say that make up makes me so excited! especially MAC.

that's the good thing about NUS, they bring the shopping to you. hahaha....

you should have seen the madness. the queue was snaking out of the forum. and yes i was queueing in the hot sun just to get a piece of the action. as i was queueing i heard some guy exclaimed from behing, 'takder kerja lain ke orang-orang ni". And as i turned around, i saw dear old Wan with his usual cynical remarks. hahaha..but i did make sure he saw me and he was embarassed that i heard him. hahahha...but i must say that the biz com did an excellent job in controlling the whole situation. it was a good idea to not let us bring bags in. so altho the queue was long i must say that it was quick.

But unfortunately, because i came 2 hours late. a lot of the things that i actually wanted was sold out. i realy needed blusher but they ran out of it. and i wanted to get the mascarra cos i thot tt it was fantastic but they ran out of that too. and the glitter eyeliner i was eyeing came it a set which includes a lot of other things i didnt want. and they didnt sell highlighter. so i just settled for brushes which came with a cool evening bag and shadestick in mango colour. ooooohh..eggcitingg.hahah.. and as usual after that i felt guilty for splurging. but im rather contented with my purchases. it was fortunate that i didnt but the shoe frm charles and keith yesterday.

now as i am gushing about make up. sometimes i do wish that i gush about my studies. like maybe some social thought jargons. maybe rave about marx and his ideas. or speak passionately about the lack of equality between females and males as i have learned in gender studies. which reminds me my reaction paper is due in a week and i havent started.

ok la i better start now.

2007-09-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

Before Ramadhan begins...

I wish my room was more like this....

pictures from decor8.com

Our Event Launch...

Happy Fasting everyone :)

i wish ppl wont pour out their hearts so explicitly on their very public blogs

esp when it's inaccurate

2007-09-12T01:18:00.001+08:00

ok i so totally forgot to put up pictures of my attemp to look goth at the dsl interview

hahahahahha

so here goes :P

ok la i noe it's so not GOTH

but i tried my best without getting weird stares from ppl in the mrt

and this is zee in her very pretty kebaya

she looks so vogue

and i look fat cos im wearing horizontal stripes..hehhehe

2007-09-12T00:52:00.000+08:00

"And you can burn away all our memories

But I'll keep mine, where they belong"

i need to focus on my academics. i think i've got this whole thing wrong....i've set all my priorities hay wire. but im gonna set it right.

ps. I hate it when people take PBM TOO SERIOUSLY.

2007-09-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

This is how i feel now..............

and no one would understand what im feeling now

at that moment......

(but im thankful that i could pour it out to ina just now)

there are some things i wish i could shout out to the world

some things i feel like telling Sufiyan

but i know i cant

some things i wish people would understand

but i know that they wont

someone can make my life into a movie

"wipe those tears away"

2007-09-10T12:19:00.000+08:00

" My Sweet Escape"

i finally finished my minutes!

boy it's really really a painstaking process that TAKES A LOT OF TIME.

(since it's in Malay)

i really wonder how they did it last yr. maybe i should tell the rest of the jk to talk less so that the minutes dun have to be so long. hahaha...

oh anw. yesterday i went for dsl interview. trust dsl to choose an artsy fartsy place and to tell u to dress goth. i totally forgot to ask them why i needed to do so. but apparently we were all told to dress up differently. i came to see Zee in kebaya all dressed up like she was going to a photo shoot. lol. But my point was i realized tha i never truly explored Arab St. tho i think that it is close to being a place that EVERBODY goes to these days. (to take emo photos, and post up on friendster) i don't think it's over rated. The place where i use to go for ngaji is now a chic boutique. i am definitely dragging the Laila's to ec there one of these days instead of our usual Pacfic Coffee-Starbucks hangout.

oh well that is if we have the time la.

plus the fasting month is starting like this thursday. man time really flies. i feel as if i just celebrated Hari Raya last month.

Im really stressed out by school. readings and assignments are piling up and there is no such thing as completing your work. cos it's never done. u either have to work on your projects/assingnments or prepare for tutorial or read up for lecture.......

and my first presentation is tomorrow..yikes!

and im not ready cos i couldnt attend the meeting that they had. it's just a short presentation but still............

besides that things are pretty much ok. my mom gave me yet another lecture on my poor time management and how i should spend more time with family, etc. and i totally agree with her. i mean even with my attempts and strategies to manage my time properly, it's still no working and i feel like a total failure. But i did made attempts to spend more time wit hthe family. Like i tagged along to JB on saturday evening altho i really really hate it. But i wasnt so bad and my mom got me a skirt and a top. Plus shirah got a top that i could borrow :)

shopping ALWAYS make me smile.

2007-09-10T00:09:00.000+08:00

this is so painful to listen to.

we make mistakes. we learn. we reminisce. we cry, we laugh, we smile.

but we must move on.

goodbye. you have been the one for me.

i never regretted it.

2007-09-09T09:43:00.000+08:00

When Life Gives you Lemons....

Make Lemonade :)

2007-09-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

i dunno why i havent been blogging regularly. im getting lazier...boo....

so anw yest was ec day with the lailas, we headed to vivo. i swear lailak was high on god knows wht. she was abusing me and throwing tissue into my bag and talking in a retarded accent. only me and lailaj are nice enough to hang out with someone like her. but ya la we just decided to meet up before the holy month of Ramadhan cos LailaJ is so far from us and we dun get to meet ..scho schad oni...

lailaj: oh no im not ready take again......

lin: ok ok..everybody must smile

lin: did u hear the quack? did you hear the quack? (cos the camera was on timer)

laila j: oh no i look fat

lailak: i forbid you to put this up your blog

lailaj: i shall hide myself behind oscar cos i look fat

lailak: i shall hide myself behind my bag

lin: im having my ugly day.....

so i dunno why but we can never take proper photos..but it's ok la we got better things to do....i resisted the temptation to shop yet again..woohoo..i didnt buy the pointies from charles and keith and today when i went to accesorize, i couldnt find my sparkly clutch..boo :( i really NEED a clutch. what i did buy was TeenVogue. IMISS DRESSING UP! Gosh i feel like i have nothing to wear to school these days. and it's so so sad cos i feel ugly. i think feeling ugly is worst then being ugly. and im getting insecure about my weight which is bad cos i have never really been bothered about how much i weigh last time. izzit just me or am i speaking like a total bimbo.

i think the madness of school is finally like kicking in. i have a reaction paper to submit next next week. aarrggghh..and i look at the social thought questions it's so damn difficult. altho i must say that for a module that i was really dreading i am enjoying the lectures. gender is so much fun too!

i had this conversation with farhanah on tuesady morning on my way to school. my dad sent me halfway to school so i was having motion sickness in the bus. and she told me that she gets it too. so she said that i should drink coke. and im like thinking is coke the solution to every sickness out there. i remember back in AC when i get my very bad cramps and syikin would ask me to drink coke. then when im having a bad cough and a sore throat my cousin asked me to drink coke. and laila would ask me to drink coke when im having a stomachache. my mom said tha you can wash the toilet with coke cos it's so strong. i tell you coke can solve all your problems in a day. i think someone should write a paper on the benefits of coke. so yes everytime i feel like a whole load of crap i think i would head down to get myself a bottle of coke. (altho i must say that my addiction to green tea is not over yet)

so what have i been up to?

Got my reply from PAYM. yay!
getting a hang of being the secretary
been feeling insecure about my weight and 'attempting' to do sit-ups every night
eating like there's no tommorow
miss buying smtg for myself
some improvement for my tardiness and procrastination problem

i went to get my blusher in that perfect shade, peach glow, but it was out of stock :(

sighs i need shoes. heels specifically.

i dunno why but im feeling strange nowadays. some parts of me are happy, elated. some parts of me are sad and very empty and yet there's some parts of me who wish that things with certain people would just return to the way they were. i keep teling myself that i know what i am doing but am i just trying to convince myself. oh GOD i dun wanna screw up yet again.

2007-09-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

"Slow down you crazy child.."

Today i went to school altho i didnt have any lessons. and i met up with Wiwiek since i needed her notes for the lecture i missed last week. And she surprised me with this paper yo-yo. haha..it was so sweet and it cheered me up. and it's so cool..haha..it's the first time i've seen such a thing and i've used it as a weapon to scare Laila. (it works!) So THANK YOU WIWIEK!(woohoo!) for being so thoughtful. hehehe...

so i realise that my minutes for last last saturday's meeting is really taking a long long time. it's so so time-consuming..whinewhinewhine......

was quite productive today cos i went to school. so yay..but i think that i should really make an oath for this sem:-

i would not be tardy.
i would do my readings before coming for lectures
I WOULD NOT PROCRASTINATE
i would focus focus and focus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i would not care what ppl are saying about me. unless i care about them..

(;

and i am affected by what he wrote cos i cried bucketfuls

and i am like so looking forward to EC with the Lailas on wednesday!!!!!!!!

*jumps around like a mad woman*

and i think i need to go toiletry shopping...and i want to get that sparkly Accesorize clutch!

some quotes of the day:-

" Just because you're senget, i have to be senget"

"being over humble is arrogance"

2007-09-02T19:19:00.000+08:00

today is my father's 54th Birthday! and as usual..the Yaacob family tradition calls for a celebration at where else but Swensens..im really sick and tired of Swensens food, but my family really cannot celebrate birthdays anywhere else but Swensens. So as usual birthday boy got his firehouse ice cream..
but i dun think he really cared. haha...he blew the candle at this distance. wth.

so what is a birthday without presents! and of course we got papa presents..we bought him socks and underwear..bcos he is a man after all and men have their needs. practical needs that is..he seems happy with his presents. and shirah dropped his birthday card thingy somewhere so i think we have to make a new one for him.
oh btw. since im not home most of the time nowadays, ina and shirah has ganged up against me. im very sad. no really. i actually cried just now. so now i gang up with my mother. who needs sisters? hmph....
but whatever it is i noe that my mom would go back to her alliance with my father. see la so manja..... :(

2007-09-01T23:35:00.000+08:00

happy (:

2007-08-30T20:33:00.000+08:00

i havent been in the mood to blog lately. there are many nights that i open up to my blogger home page, stare at the screen, think of what to type, minimize the screen (in case some thing pops up later) then finish all my work and realise that i still have nothing to pen down. if i were to describe what im feeling for the time being, it would be contented. maybe that's why i have nothing to say. yet at the same time, the emptiness is hitting me. but im determined to get through this. it shall not b a cycle for me and i shall not be a victim of it.

im upset. im upset with all this. for the first time, it seems as if a lot of people are against me. at first i was confident that as long as i know what im doing it will all be ok. im convinced that in this world that i live in i dun owe anybody any explanations if i know what i was doing with my life. hey it is my life after all. and for once i was telling myself that it's ok that people are not accurate when they judge me, i dun have to go around and explain the real situation to them. it's tiring to do that. i overestimated myself, i thought that it'd be easier to handle this thing. and i forgot that im a GIRL...hahhah..with lots and lots of emotions and feelings and HORMONES! haha.....

BUT thank YOU for the daily dose of laughter :D

Aiyah..im sure i'll be ok la. i just need time and food and money..hahaha..and i have lots of readings ot catch up with. and i also need to clean up my messy room and do something about my weight issue. so no biggie i'll just pick myslef right up..like i always do... :)

2007-08-27T19:39:00.000+08:00

view from the holtel room tt i shared with firah

the wadrobe.hehe

no i dont steal bathroom accesories :P

a nice lepak corner

..to Concorde Hotel....

this cute girl was taking part in a colouring contest at a nearby shopping mall.

she was too cute for me not to take a foto.

and yes this was candid, i didnt ask her to smile

oh i was afraid that her mom thinks im psycho! hahaha.

my cousin salihin. the only guy cousin who attended the wedding.

the chocolates in this box were seriously yummy.

they literally melt in your mouth!

appetiser: soto! (hahha)

with the best begerdil ever! even better than the ones i make!

dessert

the cousin performance...

i already asked nurul to prepare something for my wedding..hehehe

the bride and groom cutting the cake with a sword!

my baju.. :D

the sunset on our way home..

on a totally different and random note!
i realise that i have the same hairdresser as imran ajmain....haha..random....

ok pictures from trip to kl which was a very nice escape i must say..short and sweet...with my extended family. the wedding (which was the highlight of the whole trip) was definitely NOT a let down..it was very grand and very well thought out yet it was stil very sweet. and yes it was rich in tradition, we had to wait for the Dato's and Datins to bless the couple one by one. hehe..but yet the whole event wasnt stand offish although i must say that in Malaysia social class is more in your face. Cousins of the groom performed a couple of songs, it was hilarious watching the little ones. so yes it was a really sweet wedding. And although i violently denied when my mom asked whether i was planning my wedding in my head, i cant help but day dream a bit. hahhahah..come one la im sure everybody who wasnt married was planning their wedding secretly in their head. food wise, the food served was nothing out of the ordinary but i must say that i was extremely delicious! and im more inspired to save for a hotel wedding...hahaha..

it's nice to stay in a hotel once in a while, the buffet breakfast was good but i have been to better ones. and ohhh la la..i love hotel towels..hahha..and hotel beds made it difficult to wake up in the morning.

so back to reality and school!

a lot of admin stuff to settle for pbm and tomoro would be my first tutorial! how exciting! and i need to go shopping.. :( it had been far too long altho i did bought two plain tops from KL. :P i feel inspired to shop..hhehehe..ok back to computing tutorial :p

2007-08-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

AGM 2007

and finally my lappie is back in my arms. after a lot of very difficult nights without it, it's all fixed up and it's just like brand new. i love blogging in bed. there's no sense of satisfaction like lying in bed at the end of a very long day and blogging. :)

so AGM was on Monday and my role in the JK has officially begun. a lot of things to do tha ti cant do bcos of the absence of my lappie but since it's back. i can start soon.

im heading of to KL for the weekend to attend a wedding. i've been really looking forward to this trip cos i was stuck at home for the sem break. and it's not often that i get excited going to Msia. In fact i never get excited going to Msia. But since this trip is with my extended family, i am excited to go! i even bought Baju Kurung sepcially for the wedding..haha..and not to mention shoes..white heels to be more specific. yay!

so yes..........on a more random note. i respect people's opinion of me and my decisions but ultimately i have to make choices and i am responsible for them. if i make wrong decisions i know that the people i love would be there behind me, fully aware that i have made mistakes but respecting me. but im aware that a lot of people are unhappy with me now. it's difficult.

2007-08-22T18:38:00.001+08:00

on Lailas's lappie now.

gosh it has been so long........so many days when i have a thought or an idea or just something i wish to express and then i realise that my dear lappie is still at repair..and so i cant blog. of course there are other ways to express myself like yapping away with friends or talking to myself. But what i did was opened up my diary which i must say i havent used in quite some time. re-reading back all my old entries made me laugh at my sillines, cringe at my stupidity and desperate-ness, tear at those memories..so much emotions just by re-reading all my old entries....and of course i added on to my collection of entries. if i die i hope somebody burn that book! cos i can never imagine someone else reading all that crap.

school wise...as usual it's picking up speed. things are different from previous semesters. more friendships forged, blessings from involvement in the various projects during the sem break ..on the other hand some friendships are.....not severed....but just different. but change is always bound to happen in one's life so i take it in my stride. my status had reverted back to single yet again. and to be blatanly honest on this very public space, i havent experienced my breakdown...yet. like someone once said to me..."may this sem be an emotional stabiliser for me". i think 2 semesters of emotional rollercoasters are enough, thank you very much. haha.....honestly i think if someone was to judge me without knowing me very well i think they would say that i am a bit mental. heh

for someone who really hates drama..i think i attract a lot of it.. haha.......

i really hope that this sem goes well for me especially academically. im on my own now.

anw this is a video of imran with his song that i am addicted to. i listened to it over and over while getting ready to go to school.it gave me goosebumps the first time i heard it. oh..my dear old friend Haikal directed the video. how cool.... :)

Biar ghaibmu suatu misteri
Tiada ku mencari sebarang pembayang lagi
Biar ia bertanda tanya sahaja
Hatiku dah lama bertitik nota

Biar......biarlah berlalu
Biar......biarlah begitu

Biar waktu mengubat rindu
tiada ku mencari sebarang penawar pilu
biarlah mereka tertanya-tanya
Hatiku dah lama berganti arah

Biar....biarlah berlalu
Biar....biarlah begitu

Mana pergi janji
setia di sisi
hanya aku yang tertunggu-tunggu
waktu pun berjalan
tak berkesempatan
engkau hilang tanpa pesanan

Biar.....biarlah berlalu
biar......biarlah begitu

Biar ghaibmu suatu misteri
tiada ku mencari
sebarang pembayang lagi

closing a chapter to start a new one

2007-08-16T18:38:00.000+08:00

so lecture ended early for today. after four lectures so far, this one looks the most promising. i mean it was the most interesting one that make me wanna sit up and listen to what the prof is talking about. he's one cool dude who can speak malay cos he did anthropological studies of pondans in Malaysia. hahaha...

so after that i had lunch with fazzy, artika ad latiff tho fazzy didnt eat. and headed to yih to help artika and zahila clean up stuff from the welcome tea, and then at the spur of the moment me and artika decided to head down to Bugis Street for shopping cos we realised that (counting this sem), it has already been three sems since we took the same lectures and promised each other to go shopping but never got around doing it. so since this is the first week of school and all, it seemed like a good time for shopping and good old girl talk which i must admit that we did a lot of just now.

which really got me thinking. i know that this is a public space and everything and it's not the best place to pour out my feelings and emotions but wth. i am afraid of commiting into a relationship. bcos when i commit myself to a relationship, which is not often i must say. i put my heart my soul and what have u into it. perhaps it's the idealistic side of me putting all this expectations to my other half since i feel that i gave everything i could. of course sometimes i must say that my everything is not enough. but by putting in my all, the heartbreak i must say is horrible if it doesnt go the way as i expect it to be. i think no word in the dictionary does justice to describe the way i feel after the end of a relationship, especially this last one. and now is the time for recovery. the time to pick myself up, reflect and somehow try to fix all the pieces of my heart back to one whole. but im afraid of meeting someone new. im afraid that i would jinx it by my expectations and my over eagerness. im afraid that i have to go through this whole process again.

so....only the brave should fall in love.

because insecure people like me would just make a whole mess out of it. sometimes i ask myself why am i so insecure. and im insecure about almost everything, it's just taht i try to hide it behind this brave front. when in actual fact, in my mind, every second, i am psycho analysing the things and people around me. hahah..ok i sound weird. but it's true! i should think more about my studies instead of these random and supposedly unimportant things going on around me.

which brings me to my next point. i just realised that i have not spelled out my aims for this sem. so my goals are as follows :-

to be on my toes about everything
to give more than i should
stay FOCUSED to my true goal!

and hopefully my dreams would be realised, i can contribute greatly to PBM and maybe one day everything would be better.

InsyAllah :)

2007-08-15T01:41:00.001+08:00

PBMUKS Welcome Tea

Hollywood Style

2007-08-14T23:31:00.000+08:00

i took this picture at a very beautiful place today. :)

camera phones can do wonders.

today was the welcome tea for PBM. i think Artika and team really did a good job paying attention to all the details to match the Hollywood Glam theme. it was perfect, the red carpet, the spotlights, movie posters, the ticketing booth, hall of fame..etc u name it la. kudos to the team for a spectacular job done. Im looking forward to this one. i'll upload fotos tmr la. :)

First day of school was ok. i had 2 lects today. social thought and social theory and also malays of singapore. the way the MS mod was carried out was somewhat similar to Malay Families, so it's nice that i felt comfortable. i forsee sc3101 to be quite boring yet im quite excited bcos it forms the pillar of soci. overall my only complain about my 1st day of sch has ntg to do with the mods im taking but with the fact that i think tt nus is freaking overcrowded. i had to wait so long at the queue at BK just now and i couldnt get supplies from the NUS Coop cos it was too full and the queue was a killer. I DUN LIKE:(

lets hope computing is less of a pain in the ass.

2007-08-13T15:29:00.001+08:00

"Bound To Happen"

I used to know you like the back of my hand
Until today you held your place
Now you're shifting like the sand
Your chest would heave with pride if I were spoken of
'Till tonight I never knew the difference between comfort and love

Although you're sleeping right next to me
Well, it feels like you are wide awake in a distant dream
leading a life that is finally free
of these endless nights and countless fights that turn us into
who we hate to be

This is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -
nothing will ever be the same

I used to hold you like it's all that I had
Now begins the falling out, we are like a passing fad
Your mouth would crack a smile if I were spoken of
'Till tonight you never thought
you'd lose this epic battle with love

Although you're sleeping right next to me
Well, it feels like you are wide awake in a distant dream
leading a life that is finally free
of these endless nights and countless fights that turn us into
who we hate to be

And this is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -
nothing will ever be the same

For what it's worth, I've always admired you
I always thought that we could make it through
Now look what time can do
It took our masterpiece we built and broke it in two
I always believed in you
I always loved you

And this is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walk

2007-08-13T01:34:00.000+08:00

JK PBMUKS Induction

this is very very sedap

the best cupcake i've ever tasted..verrry rich.

i enjoyed my fish with mushroom very much at Amirah's Grill...so sedap! almost beat the grilled fish in corriander sauce..ALMOST! hehehe...okay maybe the rice was nicer at Amirah's Grill. but the induction was very very long and tiring. and i missed pak andak's bdae dinner at Spize!!

(i dont tink i was supposed to upload this pic!)

but who said that we PBMUK-ers are boring and uncool.

Random Thoughts

sometimes, to move on in life, u have to make the worst decsions in your life. sometimes it might devastate and shatter your heart. but u must always keep control of your life and know what you are doing in. so that when u look back to your life, u wont regret decisions that you make in the past. self-confidence is under rated.
keep your loved ones close to you. because u need them as much as they need you.
i hate judging people. but im starting to question my position in this matter. i realise that i do judge the people i have a potential of getting closer to bcos i know that they would have an impact on my life. and somehow it makes things more superficial.
i need to follw my head instead with my heart esp when it comes to my romantic life.
i need to focus on my studies (as in reeeeeeeeeaaaally focus)
i need to be wary of my actions and stop being dumb to the most obvious things
self-discipline is key and imstill working on it.

2007-08-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

after days of no appetite and not looking forward to meal times plus not to mention sharing food with friends (because i cant even finish a meal), i think i have more or less gained back my appetite. yay! all thanks to the lailas whom i met today at the airport for our last ec session before we head back for school. we went to the airport to pick up LailaJ's buddy from Croatia whom is very cute i must say. and for the first time, i actually ate at Fish and Co. . even i am surprised. it was delish!!! i ordered grilled fish with corriander sauce and it was really fantastic, the rice was just nice. i am glad that i have gained back my appetite.

i am so not ready for school. my mind is not geared back and i cannot bear the thought of writing essay after essay. i hope that this sem i would be able to concentrate on my studies and maintain if not improve my grades. i am excited for pbm and i also hope to extend my social network and have more non-malay friends. as for now i only have one non-malay friend, Kanch! so schad oni.

i can feel the impending emotional rollercoasters that i would have to go through next sem. life is not easy for an emotional person who feels a lot and tries to hide her feelings. i just hope that i pull through despite everything. mourn for the loss but move on with my life. it's never easy to end a chapter of my life, but maybe this is better for everyone. thank goodness for family and friends who are always there to guide me.

pictures are from the our mini outing yesterday to te bowling alley and also from today's ec session. <3

2007-08-10T10:20:00.000+08:00

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby,
I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

2007-08-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

and i feel like a failure cos i tried and there was no results

2007-08-09T01:46:00.000+08:00

and i really cant belive that this is over....................................
and you noe what? it was really alot better than expected!
and this are some reasons why Pentas Budaya 07 rocked!
1. becos we had a lot of help from other ppl like muni :)
2. bcos it's a joy taking fotos with ppl who step handsome (points at latiff)
3. because cam whoring backstage with Farhanah's "vogue" face is cool

4. bcos u get to wear costumes that matches yus's car

5. bcos u get surrounded by hot (not) people
6. because u get free cake
7. because shy omar said i had nice eyes
8. because i get to work with these oh-so-cute SA boys

and a million other reasons but i only have these fotos in my camera phone and i just wanted cool captions...to my comm husni, wany, ibnur, farhana, shamiah, yasmine, yati, fatima, faatihah, shai, liza..this is one event that i thot wouldnt pull thru..but somehow by Allah's grace we did it....and working with u guys was a joy! *despite heart attacks duirng the planning, minutes before the show and during te show.( next time i tabulate scores..i need a calculator)

and i thot that mu busy-ness would end but i have a meeting bright and early tomorrow (how exciting -_-) hahaha

i think i am in deep shit

Go Read Shamiah's blog for an accurate re account of what actually happened... :)

2007-08-08T02:00:00.000+08:00

hey baby when we are together
doing things that we love
everytime you're near i feel like im in heaven
i don't want to let go girl
i just need you to know girl

i dun wanna run away
baby you're the one i need tonight
no promises
baby now i need tohold u tight
i just wanna die in your arms here tonight

2007-08-07T20:12:00.000+08:00

Happy Twentieth Birthday Sufiyan Sulaiman!

and so today amidst preparations for pentas budaya..(which is tomorrow!)..i gave sufiyan a very humble gift i must say..of gold class tickets to watch one of ihs favourite movies of all times...of course whatever i do will never match what he did for my birthday. but there's more to come.:)

so here is my birthday shoutout to the birthday boy who thinks that his birthday is just any other day. i dun like to think of birthdays like that. birthdays are sacred to me!

on a different note..i have not been blogging much these days cos i am at a lost for words most of the times and yes i do have to censor certain thought s and feelings. and i lost a lot of things that i love lately..like my appetite for good food and even more upsetting..my love for shopping..i am so so so so so sad. once all this pentas budaya thing is over and i get some income..i will force myself to go shoping cos maybe retail therapy works..today i wore my long dress..and i must say that it makes me feel like a woman..HAHAHAH..that's such a kental statement!

2007-08-06T11:58:00.000+08:00

some overdued pictures...from fiesta de la siesta
(my outfit was terrible..i couldnt find anything spanish enough to wear)

the competition..hehehe

2007-08-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

i really really wanna blog about something cool and interesting. but it's difficult cos im too lazy to express myself. which is funny cos my life has not been short of drama this past few weeks.

and school's starting soon. :( pentas budaya is on wednesday. im excited to see the performance. I absolutely adore the SA boys! they are so sincere and energetic and enthusiastic. it makes it all worth it. and when i watched the pros rehearsed, my heart just soared. suddenly the $10 ticket seemed too cheap for taht kind of quality. and the groups were so coordinated and uplifting. im excited for pentas budaya(for once!)

i have been having a lot of fun with the pbm ppl and the foc comm. i hope me and the lailas can meet up for ec onle last time b4 school reopens.

i wanna get heels!

2007-08-04T01:42:00.000+08:00

because i promised latiff that i put up the most handsome picture of him :)

so that he forgives me for the tido picture...

Lin, Artika, Yasmine

Fantastic 4!!!

i dunno why my face is so white....

sighs..never ever apply make up in a dimly lighted mosque

wiwiek my looooooooooove....

azra!

Fantastic 4! sighs! it is kental........latiff's fault

three quater of us...bcos we need someone to take the picture right

the very sedap cake for all of us!

the food was seriously good. this sotong was made by haikal (my husband for a day)
here he is all shy..(im sure)

the girls of foc comm..w/o me :(

i guess it's self-explanatory that i enjoyed myself :)

2007-08-02T11:34:00.000+08:00

Pentas Budaya 2007

8th August 2007

8 p.m

Victoria Theatre

tickets are at $10 only!

come down with your family and friends!

go to http://www.pentasbudaya07.blogspot.com/

or just contact me at 96616154

and if you're my friend....it's compulsory!

muahahaha

2007-07-31T22:46:00.000+08:00

i realise that nowadays it takes a lot more for me to cry.

but suddenly i wish that i could cry easily, to release all these emotions.

2007-07-31T02:12:00.000+08:00

i havent been enthusiastically blogging these days. no photos cos i rarely take em. and life has been good, except for the usual hiccups along the way. i dunno what's up with me these days. i dont eat well (very surprising for someone who finishes her boyfriend's food) and i'm just jumpy and flustered most of the times. but this will NOT be a whiny entry. i refuse to succumb to the teenage way of complaining about life. i shall not whine and curse "cos my momma taught me better than that". and i have forged a lot of friendships these past few weeks and i have had a blast working with ppl. but my personal life, is a whole different story. so who can i trust? while i ponder on that..i shall admire these pictures of places where i wish i were right now.

nak pergi......!!

because no one really knows for sure

2007-07-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

pbm really knows how to throw a party la

for a girl who has never stepped into a club

and whose mother does not allow to sleep over

I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF!

for once i didnt feel like taking photos

hahha

so im waiting for photos to come in from other people :)

ps. diana, nurul and artika were so sweet la for asking my mom whether i could sleep over..unfortunately for them their sweetness was not enough for my monster momma..hmmph

2007-07-28T16:37:00.000+08:00

2007-07-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

i think i made an error in judgement.
i am definitely not an octopus.
i cannot juggle things.
i cant even do one thing at a time.
i need to switch back to my school mode.
and it's not gonna be easy.
i need one thing more than anything now.
S-E-L-F-D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E

2007-07-27T16:39:00.001+08:00

im seldom in a bad mood these days

and since im in one now

it sucks that there's no one to blame

2007-07-27T12:47:00.000+08:00

rela ku menunggu mu
seribu tahun lama lagi
tapi benarkah hidup aku kan selama ini
biar berputar, utara selatan
ku tak putus harapan
sedia setia

rela ku mengejarmu
seribu batu jauh lagi
tapi benarkah kaki ku kan tahan sepanjang jalan ini
biar membisu bururng bersiulan
tenang la gelombang lautan
ku masih setia

adakah engkau yakin
ini cinta
adakah engkau pasti
ini untuk selama-lamanya

rela ku menunggu mu
seribu tahun lama lagi
tapi benrkah hidup aku kan selama ini
biar berputar utara selatan
ku tak putus harapan
sedia setia

jangan putus harapan

sedia setia

2007-07-25T23:18:00.000+08:00

i just realised that i do not actually have pictures with my entire foc committee.

but today was a lot of fun la.

especially the bonding session with wiwiek, yasmine, makyah, hidayat and latiff.

very fun la merepek together in the car, singing songs, talking personal stuff.

i really hope that we keep in touch!

2007-07-24T21:16:00.001+08:00

2007-07-24T19:38:00.000+08:00

i officially declare today as hello kitty day =^..^=

why?

because laila j just came back from japan and bought us many many hello kitty stuff.

like this hello kitty hp charm
and hello kitty marshmallows

(oh fine..these were from chai chee..but it's still hello kitty)

and a lot more hello kitty stuff

but best of all .....

I FINALLY FOUND MY HELLO KITTY MINTS W/O HAVING TO TRAVEL TO BUKIT BATOK!!!!

i'm one happy girl:)

and ec was fairly succesful i must say

we initiated a new member into our ec club.

meet Franco the rat.

(I was doubtful cos he tried to eat hello kitty)

on a more random note, this is my latest addiction..

can't live without it!

2007-07-23T10:40:00.000+08:00

i think i wanna go back to arts house and the surrounding areas for a photo taking session

the place is too nice to not be photographed

and im going to drag sufiyan along

muahahaha

2007-07-22T22:23:00.000+08:00

pictures were from the ppp awards ceremony just now at arts house :)

i think today there are a lot of lessons learnt for me.

humility

i learn that humility is beyond face value. maybe all this while im really not humble but merely acting humble. i was very happy during the ppp awards just now. this is going to sound so vague, but i understand why things are this way. so close yet so far. i think things are better off this way. i have learnt a HUGE lesson today

faith

i have not been living my life like a true muslim at all especially these few weks back. rituals aside (though i am lacking in this area too), i feel that i have been following my heart a lot and not listening to my brain. i have been rash and i have not been watching my mouth and the things that i say. and i am truly disappointed with the way i am. it's these things that nobody knows. it's personal and im the judge of my self conduct.

support is important

it's so sad that my mom does not support something that im really interested in and may have potential in since i dont have potential in a lot of things.

but above all, im still a lucky lucky girl. and im very happy today

2007-07-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

and so i have something to admit. the other day, while i was doing my food recee at bukit batok, i went to a 7-11 to get myself a drink and i saw this super cute hello kitty mints. at that point of time i was in this very enthusiatic spirit to budget and safe money and i really watched what i spent on. and i stupidly did not get that very cute pack of hello kitty mints thinking that if i really wanted it i could pop by any 7-11 and get it some other time. but up till today, after entering countless 7-11s around Sinagpore i still have not found it! and i have half the mind to actually travel to bukit batok to get my hello kitty mints. sighs. the things i do. but sufiyan bought me three hello kitty stuff today. so hurrah for him! hahha..and im happier now.

so much for budgeting. the bad thing about attempting to budget is that after "starving" yourself for so long u tend to binge. and boy did i "binge" just now. i didnt intend to like shop or anything at vivo just now, but after walking out of zara and topshop empty handed i was quite happy with myslef. and then i walked into forever 21, and i saw a long dress going for a reasonable price and so i tried it on. and after that everything happened like i was in a trance. i took the dress, and walked calmly to the counter and paid for it. *smacks head*. somebody shoot me. the dress set me back $70/-. so much for saving. im back to square one :(

2007-07-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

been a while since i blogged properly. meaning it has been a while since i had the time for a heart felt post, in which i discuss my feelings and thoughts on matters happening around me. now with foc and ppp over, i do feel a bit empty. suddenly, there's no need for rushing from one place to another. which is a nice change but at the same time i'm gonna miss doing that.

at some points during my three month long break, i did think back on my decisions to take up so many projects. i like to live life with no regrets, however, at the same time i do reflect on what i have gone through and see what could be improved. as tiring as it was, and as difficult as it was, i must say that i did not regret taking up muslimah night, foc and ppp. because i really met great great people along the way and learn a lot in terms of team dynamics, leadership (although i did not take up any leadership positions) and of course all the nitty gritty formalities that have to be done when hadling certain things. i also learn a lot about myself. and i could feel myself changing and growing up. i learnt that around the foc comm im really a huge idiot and im always laughing and i always go home smiling and happy. which is so different from who i am during my primary, secondary school and jc years, when i am very resereved about my ideas and definitely mush less confident about expressing thoughts and feelings and at the same time insecure about the way i look and present myself.

but i have learnt to overlook certain things, be less conscious and also try to take risks along the way. although they are still safe in a way, it's the first step to bigger things to come.

with that said, i do think that i was ambitious with taking up so many projects. yes i could manage them, but that would mean that my contribution to each and every committee that i was part of was much much less. in simpler words i could not be involved as a whole. i realised that i missed alot of important points of the journey that my different committees went through. and it really saddens me that i could not give my 100%. not only was i juggling my different responsibilities, being someone who is very close to my family, it was difficult for me to suddenly spend much much less time with them. i felt so distant from them and sometimes i wouldnt see my mom or sisters for days because by the time i reach home they are all asleep. relationship wise, i know that a lot of people were surprised when me and sufiyan suddenly decided to reconcile and give us another try. while the reasons are personal, i can just say that it really wasnt easy. the journey is rocky and it was difficult (though i manage to do it) to separate my personal life and my responsibilities. so i guess i'm really thankful that sufiyan stuck by me though thick and thin despite our challenges and supported me. oh and of course i missed my friends a lot. i couldnt catch up with them as much as i wanted to. and i guess i did in a way negelcted them and for that i feel so guilty.

but i did not take up the different projects blindly. i took them up because

i wanted to learn something new
i did not want to bum around like how i always do. i wanted to make sure that i made full use of my holidays
my mom wouldnt let me get a job
i wanted to act quite badly and the holidays was a great period to take it up
i know that if i did not fill up my time with something i will use it to watch Oprah at home and go shopping very very often and be extremely broke
i wanted to take up a muslim society event because i have been more involved in pbm
i was excited to work with a great bunch of people
i wanted to meet new people
i wanted to move outside my comfort zone by working with people whom i would under normal circumstances not be close to
i wanted my holidays to be memorable

and it's safe to say that i did achieve a lot of those aims if not all. im just sorry that i could not commit fully to one event. and i know that next semester, i will be more focused and stop trying to pretend that i am an octopus with so many freaking things to juggle. and i want to do something about my love for fashion. i have been neglecting it and maybe i want to take up photography. :) hehe

ok i shall stop right here.

2007-07-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

And then ppp ended.

no more nura, najmah, nabillah and nadiah.

two months worth of work in a single show for the world to lay their critical eyes upon...(ok not world, but at least for those who came to watch)...

2007-07-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

FOC is Da BOMB! :)

i wish i took more pictures, (but i guess i was having too much fun!) i seriously bonded with some people in my committee through our bitching sessions, games and of course while doing work.

us doing work. of course we chipped in in whatever way possible. we didn't mind looking like a karang guni man (pls refer to hidayat's pictures). man i think my ass has really ballooned :(

see ALL the work that we did can be proven by pictures...
.
.
.
.
.
.

hehehe..jangan marah eh. main2 ajer :D

but seriously it was fun and it ended well while we were at West Coast park playing captain's ball. Every committee has their ups and downs but i really had a LOT of fun doing all of this. i wish i could be there to see through my special programs tomor, but alas being at two place at the same time is impossible for us mere mortal. BUT all the best!

______________________________________________

personal notes :-

Mark of a true leader is,

diplomacy
proper delegation of tasks
dont micro manage!

2007-07-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

event: ppp bump-in
current state: exhausted
tomorrow: camp @ nus

arts house is damn nice :)

i wanna get married there. hehe..i know im such a girl

cant wait to visit the team @ foc

yesterday, i came to a conclusion that some people can be really ironic. when trying to be pinpoint others for being unislamic they fail to see that be doing so they're exactly what they criticize others to be. and don't talk about me behind my back, i always find out. :)

2007-07-16T23:06:00.000+08:00

2007-07-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

i watched interestin movie today, called The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros. going in the theatre with super bad seats and not a clue what the movie is about, i assumed from the poster that it was going to be a movie about transexuals and therefore i was looking forward to how the director was going to tackle the issue of gender. But the movie itself centred more on themes such as family and yes love. Maxie's feminity was not only tolerated but appreciated especially in his family as he takes over the role of mother. it was quite light hearted and funny at unexpected times, like when his father wanted to bring him to run away and he was carrying a powerpuff bag. haha... but after the movie i am more than convinced that sufiyan is homophobic as he was squirming through out the movie beside me, and i love the fact that the picture house distributes their tickets, in this cool sleek black mini-envelope..nice :) life's little pleasures!

i am one contented girl today. had a mini break from "work". and spent half the day with family and the other half with sufiyan as we went to check out the Minds Cafe (like finally). went for ina and shirah's Hafla. which gave me a warm fuzzy feeling looking at kids putting an event together for the mosque. i only sat through half of it as i had to rush for tuition, but it was enough to give me stomach cramps from giggling. my mom was making silly comments and seriously giggling more than me. the kids were really cute on stage with their nasyid performance which is when you can normally hear only one person's voice. some super enthusiastic ones belting the nasyid out and other shy ones holding on to their lyrics as they whispered the song. haha..they had a proze presentation also and after receiving their book prizes this primary 1 boy came up to my cousin Nurul and asked;

little boy: what's inside (the present) ? i hope it's an MP3 player.

Nurul: (in disbelief and jokingly) no la..i think i think it's an X box.

little boy: (gives an honestly disappointed face) ala..i have x box already, i want MP3 player.

hehehe..i think it's so cute :)

will upload fotos from hafla tomoro, grumpy shirah has them

but these are fotos with sufiyan

2007-07-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

come and support us:)

2007-07-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

onion soup os actually not bad at all. and it didnt give me bad breath. and the cheese topping was delish. together with the garlic bread. it sounds like the perfect recipe for bad breath but thankfully it didnt turn out that way. :) it's more like comfort food. food that you have when it seems like everyone out there is trying to pull you down. oh just something to have when i'm having those monthly cravings. how not to put on the pounds u tell me. on the way to my grandma's house for our usual Friday dinners, i chanced upon an ice-cream shop called Ice Cream Gallery. so much for being proud of myself for resisting the urge to get meself a tub of B&Js, i walked right into the shop and got myself a scoop of lychee ice-cream, which did not disappoint i must say. they even have lychee bits in them. mmmmmm....

must stop craving!

anyhoos these are the times when the days are getting crazier by the minute. Next week would be the official CRAZY week. it would be filled to the brim with too much to do! i just hope for one thing, that the journey would be an insanely fun and happy one! let's pray that i survive then after that i would b A LOT more free.

these days my blog has been more monotonous with entries of "this is what i ate today". seriously i couldnt imagine myself eating more in my life. much of my money goes to satisfying cravings after cravings. which is rather un-me cos i use to be the girl who rather shop than eat and more than ever willing to starve to get something i really really want. food is so much a part of my life that my food cam whore more than i do. maybe it's because food is relatively cheaper than clothes, bags and shoes and hence im more willing to part my money with them. or it could just be my hormones. oh well do we really have to find a reason behind everyting?

i think i getting used to all these. :)

2007-07-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

This movie simply rocks socks! best harry potter movie ever! im suddenly reminded why i like harry potter. i think this movie really makes up for what i think is the worst instalment of the book version of Harry Potter. honestly i skipped alot of pages when reading Order Of the Phoenix. too angsty for me. but the movie really blew me away. i love it! and my oh my isnt Harry so very hot. see told you i wasnt paedophilic even though i thot he was hot in that topless scene in the Goblet of Fire. Dolores Umbridge was really a pain in the ass, and the actress that played her nailed the role. For once i dont agree fully with the Life ratings for movies. it should have gotten at least 4 stars! oh i feel like watching again cos i missed the first ten minutes of the show! i love it i love it i love it!

am i mean if i said that although i felt so bad for leaving the foc meeting early to catch HarryPotter was so totally worth it!

Good news for Pentas Budaya Comm. yay! too bad i missed the whole process. sighs i always miss the best parts of the planning be it pentas budaya or foc.

:( but im just glad that the team can have something to look forward to after meeting setback after setback.

2007-07-11T18:55:00.000+08:00

i cant believe that i am actually home early today..woohoo! today was marketing day again..and i shall stop there. the whole world must by now know my sentiments about marketing. let's just say that i am worst than useless. but it was rather interesting what with looking for costumes for performers for Pentas Budaya 2007. with the snake in the toilet incident. when asked how big was the snake in the toilet, Ibnur calmly announced that it was the size of shit. -_- However Ibnur's presence really made a difference. he should really sell his energy, enthusiasm, passion and of course craziness in a bottle. i would even propose for someone to add the word Ibnur into the Oxford dictionary. [used in a sentence: We need to channel our inner ibnur in order to succeed.] But the marketing experience also doubled up as time for me to window shop for Hari Raya apparels. yes, yes i know that we should be anticipating for Ramadhan rather then Syawal but a little shopping never really did anybody harm right? right................

this is really nice but it can really give you diabetes in a jiffy...

trouble in paradise

2007-07-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

today we celebrated Ana's 20th Birthday

and of course we ate cake :)

Lesson learnt:

i know myself more than what i give myself credit for
i am really not that vain :)

thoughts for today:

acting got fun again

planning for FOC is fun and working with people you like makes things a lot more bearable

there is more than meets the eye when it comes to people..REALLY. it applies to me also, i know that when i am around certain people i act differently, but like i say..sometimes, it's just an act. but then again that doesnt mean that it's fake. :)
sometimes people can really surprise you

passion and excitement can really drive me
sometimes i really wish that i could be at 2 places at one time

flatery drives me although it's superficial. :P

i get affected very easily...but the good thing is i know how to conceal them.

i am evil

2007-07-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

i think that despite occupying myself in during the holidays...i am still truly a very lazy person. searching for food sponsors was tiring but more or less fun nonetheless thanks to good company. But nevertheless, although i reminded myself time and time again that i am on a very strict budget, i still succumbed to temptation and bought that rasberry cheesecake. damn it! But it was seriously good.....mmmmmm...i thought u would not be able to finish the whole thing but i did. it's difficult to resist such good cheeecake! :( i spent more than $10/- today :( boo!!!!

i thought searching for food sponsors would be relatively easy.but it's not! i only managed to secure the reception for pentas budaya itself..and that is also because it's my Cik Ani...im really lousy at all this marketing stuff..it's no use bringing me along..im like a lampost.. so im here to ask for help for

anyone who has relatives/ friends who own shops that sell food can you please approach me

anyone who wanst to purchase Pentas Budaya tickets..please come to me..i need to sell A LOT of tickets!

anyone who wants to buy perfume can still contact me :) go to http://www.thevault07.blogspot.com/ for more details.

ok i digress..the next reason why i am so lazy is because it's very difficult to wake me up. when sufiyan said that even a bomb explosion cannot wake me up, he IS NOT exagerating. my mom complains about it to my aunts all thetime, my sister gave up long time ago. it's difficult to untangle me away from my blankie and pillows....and wake up calls don't really work for me.unless the person is really persistent.

on an absolutely different note..i think Shamiah's pencil box is weird/ funny..hahha....i dunno take a look!

it's super weird right?????

hahahhaha (personally i think it looks wrong!)

i hate stealing stuff from other ppl's blog.but this is so so nice. i wish my wadrobe was like that! i got it off the lolita website i was talking about! :)

2007-07-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

ok like finally..after 3 straight days of mock camps and company preview..i get to meet sufiyan..but after my tuition of course....

after walking around..i think i am inspired to start my own cafe..it wil be a little quaint one tucked in the middle of Arab Street or something. i am so sick of un-halal cafes and feeling was was about the food and the drinks. anybody want to be my partner? on the menu would be pastries baked to perfection and also real food. ok maybe it wont be a cafe per se..it's concept is similar to TCC. But not the same mind you. and of course the interior design would be fantastic. and the best part is me and the lailas can ec anytime we want! ok i am so excited...

anyway those interested in fashion can hop on to this wonderful website! www.lolita.blogg.se. i got it of Diana's blog. It's fantastic..the ideas are fresh and they cover interior design too. and they have like a trillion entries per day...haha..If they did entries on food and blogged in English it would be perfect. Sadly i dont understand a single thing that is being blogged about, so i just look at te pictures. but it's better than nothing :)

i am really not looking forward to looking for food sponsors tmr . neither am i excited about rhearsals :(

two more weeks Lin!

2007-07-07T13:11:00.000+08:00

i logged on to my blogger account not able to decide what to say about the company preview. yes i was disappointed. that's the thing about company previews, it makes you feel like the biggest loser, the worst actress in my case. i makes me feel like i was born with no talent. it makes me the lowest of low. it just makes me feel like i couldnt do anything right because the truth was i did put in my best yesterday and that was the response i got. when i look at disppointed faces, i realise that i havent had that in a long long time. i havent handled criticisms in a long long time, in fact i think that i am bad at handling them. i always try my best so that i dont have to face that disappointed face. i realise that in my life, my biggest critic is myself. even when i handle projects for pbm,etc, i know my own mistakes. like for pentas budaya when i know that i did and am doing a horrible job, i know that it was my doing. nobody scolded me, nobody showed me that they were unhappy but i knew that i wasn't doing my best. maybe that's what i need..more critcism..constructive ones that is...and i need to handle them like a WOMAN and pick myself up after that. i know it builds character. i know that when it hurts really alot. but it came after two full days of pure fun and maybe too much laughter on my part. haha :)

now is the part i pick myself up and face the world

2007-07-07T12:42:00.000+08:00

ok im slow...i just discovered picassa..hahahaha..so the whole not-being-able-to-upload-pictures-with-blogger thing was a blessing in disguise :)

pictures were from outing with liyanna

2007-07-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

i found an incerdibly irritating way to upload my pics.. firstly i upload it to friendster..than i copy the html of the pic and past it to blogger..and voila..pictures!! but the bad side is that it's so small..but at least it's something!
:( i must seriously do smtg about this

Bukit Timah Campus. it's so so unfair that the law students get such a gorgeous campus..ppl like haireez so totally do not deserve it at all....i wish the restrooms at Arts were as nice as those at BTC. the whole place is just a perfect place to take pictures!

vivo city..i wish we could eat at Marche..i really love the setting <3

semut drinking green tea..can u see?

secretaries!:)

totally random..hahah :)

i really hope i can upload pics soon enough :(

2007-07-04T22:05:00.000+08:00

i miss ranting about things i do on a daily basis. yes they are mindless and quite boring to ppl who read my blog. but to me, it's fun reiterating what happened to me on that particular. esp the sweeter moments during the day. like yesterday when me and liyanna met up after so long..(sorry hafiz no pics ah...my lappie rosak :( ) and we sat at tcc to enjoy nice and expensive (for my range) desserts and of course very nicely presented. (i have pictures of what i ate, but once again i cant upload my pics. :( ) and how i met up with the dsl ppl for a little while for our "meeting". and dinner with sufiyan at some place we have never frequented (Newton) to enjoy very very good seafood which i have been craving for....and the much needed walk to Orchard (to so-call burn off everything that i ate..yeah right)

but today was something else. honestly i am super bloody shagged for the mock camp altho i cheated byt tagging along in hudee's car. i bet i wll fall asleep soon. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ok yes wheare were we...at the end of teh day it was me, hudee, haireez and wiwiek having a heart to heart talk in the longer than expected car journey. :) that was nice. and yes ppl what was said in the car will remain in the car :D

if someone do really have an idea on how to fix my situation wih my com. pls tell me! merci!

2007-07-04T00:19:00.000+08:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

2007-07-03T23:33:00.000+08:00

why?

why? why?

why? why? why?

why? why? why? why?

why? why? why? why? why?

I CANT UPLOAD PICS! and so i cannot blog in peace...why must this happen to me. i dont ask for much in life :(

2007-07-02T23:35:00.001+08:00

ok i really cannot upload photos for some reason and i am contemplating moving to wordpress or blogdrive. i dunno whether it's my com or blogger cos i cant seem to upload photos to friendster either. and it's really bloody irritating..cos i love photos on my blog..and those photos that u see, is after wasting a LOT of time on the com waiting and trying it over and over again. and let me reiterate it once again...it is BLOODY IRRITATING. cos i have nice photos from yesterday..aaahh..booo...

and i bought really nice shoes...hehehe..finally. i used my Robinsons voucher. Lemme tell you that EVERYTHING i like is made of PIG SKIN when i shop for my shoes!! aarrggghhh..another irritating thing tt has been going on in my life. oh this small nitty gritty trivial deatails that are of such great annoyance. :(

and i foresee a busy giler 2 weeks ahead what with the camp and ppp coming up.

ok just for fun im going to put up my schedule for the next 2 weeks.

Tuesday: PB marketing meeting, meet liyanna, ppp meeting, meet sufiyan

Wednesday: mock camp the whole day

Thursday: mock camp, meet Sufiyan

Friday: do marketing stuff, company preview (die!!)

saturday: tuition, family time, rehearsals

sunday: tuition, meet sufiyan, family time, ngaji

monday: bump in

tuesday: day one camp

wedenesday: day 2 camp

thursday: PPP (Showtime!!)(hope i dun die)

friday: last day of camp

and finally semi- FREEDOM!!!!!

random thoughts:-

im addicted to crunchy shrimps from LJS
tech runs are so tiring and irritating but at the same time it's nobody's fault at the end. and irritating moments make your memories somehow sweeter. haha
i miss my mom
my mom is making me eat these omega three tablets and it gives me fish breath. i know ewwwww...
i absolutely adore my shoes. they're super comfy and i dun care if ppl say that they're plain and boring. i like plain and boring.
my mom saw my sec school ez-link card laughed really loudly in public until tears roll out of her eyes, then said " i dunno what sufiyan see in you...hahahahhaha!" wow..ego booster!
I STILL CANT FIND MY HANDPHONE POUCH!!

2007-07-01T23:28:00.000+08:00

2007-07-01T17:47:00.000+08:00

I CANT UPLOAD PHOTOS!!!

2007-06-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

i watched Nancy Drew. it was okay i guess. Emma Roberts was ok . certain parts were bland (just like her). haha..oh well i expected more, i have a high tolerance for chick flicks which are totally dumb. haha..but certain parts were disappointing. ok it was good that they focused more about the mystery rather than the whole teen world at school. but in this case, a little more of her trying to fit in would be nice. when i watch the advert i guessed i expected more. i certainly expected it to be more exciting. but it was okay on a whole. on a brighter side since aesthetics motivate me, watching Nancy Drew inspires me to be as neat as a pin. omg, i really love her preppy dress sense. and yes penny loafers..so cool! haha..and the part where she has everything practical in her bag..and it's amazing the amount of things she put inside in a small bag like that. on an inspirational note from nancy drew, altho it seems unrealistic, she puts her 200% in everything she does. and it's great that she does that. that kind of tenacity and motivation would do me a whole lot of good.

i lost my phone pouch. and it's very hard to move on with life when i lose something that i really really like. :( now im contemplating whether i should get a new one. ouh..i so hate wasting money.

i think that im the luckiest girl when it comes to family and friends. :)

im selling perfume, anybody wanna buy from me?

2007-06-29T02:48:00.000+08:00

stuff at Bugis Streert i wish i didnt see

cheap vests
cheap jellies
cheap cardigans
cheap A-line skirts
cheap skinnies

thers's a whole lot of rubbish at bugis street..but if you look hard enough tere's plenty of cheap cheap gems that will make you bankrupt at the blink of an eye.

i feel like watching a movie.

i feel like surifing the website for random websites about fashion, food, travel and lifestyle

i feel like dressing up

i feel like travelling

i feel like being perfect

something i learnt today: i think i have grown up A LOT.

2007-06-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

i gave myself a holiday today.

i lost my handphone pouch. and i really really like my handphone pouch. and i hate to lose things. but i'll keep looking around since i lost it at home. my theory that there is a toyol that have been stealing my stuff does not hold cos i found the other stuff i lost. ya im very attached to my stuff. i am materialistic. :( and shamiah was right, i am easily motivated by aesthetics.

like for example if i dun feel like doing anything, and i buy..let's say a new file, im very motivated to work so that i can use my new file. i use stuff to encourage myself. like maybe buy a new top so that i can wear it to school. i also buy food judging by it's packaging. sometimes things taste like shit but i still buy them cos it has nice packaging.

i know it's very bad and it doesnt say a lot about my character....

oh well i shall continue with more talk about stuff.

i call this "Stuff i dont understand about my style icon"

how they find nice long dresses....long-sleeved some more

when they pair a blazer and jeans it's chic..when i wear ppl ask me.."why u so formal today"

when they wear a lot of things on their wrist it's cool, when i try i look like i couldnt decide which bracelet to wear

they can wear slippers abd jeans and not look like they're going to the pasar.

they waer high=waisted pants and not look short!

2007-06-27T16:48:00.000+08:00

marketing is definitely not my cup of tea.

was at sham's house just now. tired. sleepy. sick of emails bouncing back. faxes that wouldnt get through. and of course the worst of all rejection. there is no satisfaction from all this. success is rare. and boy is this whole process going at snail paced.

but hey, at least i have sham. haha

to scream with when faxes wont get thru.

to whine.

to complain.

hahah..suddenly it's more bearable.

finally met up with Sufiyan after so so long. budget dates from now on. haha..we ate at TongSeng. i like the fried fish soup with laksa noodles over there. It's better than the one they had over at Arts canteen. then we walked around abit. seriously i wonder how i still had energy when before i seriously wanted to just die. i walked around Bugis Street. AND GUESS WHAT? .....

i finally found the cardigans that i wanted! (ok that may be anti-climax for some..) and so cheap some more less than twenty bucks a piece. i felt like buying it in three colours but i settled for the dark brown one. when i have more money i will buy the rest. i shall start collecting it. it's so useful. I have been buying things that i need rather than want. and i am rather proud of myself. After heading to Esprit and realizing that the bag i wanted to get wasnt available at the Bugis branch. I headed to Charles and Keith. My oh my am i very impressed with Charles and Keith new look. it is very classy. i love the paper bags. and i actually found a bag i liked, which is super duper rare. I call it my kueh lapis bag. Finally something roomy but does look as if im lugging my whole house inside. Yes i am a contented girl.

and it really helps that Sufiyan was in a good mood. lol :)

now im just left with shoes which im gonna get with my Robinsons voucher. and also a watch, which my mom is getting me.

and....I'm all set for school.

i love shopping for school supplies!

2007-06-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

when i involve myself in all this projects. i knew what i wanted. i wanted experience and i wanted to force myself to learn how to discipline myself. by involving myself in more than one project and at the same time making sure that i do my part for each one of them, that would force me to oragnize my life well. but now, lethargy has set in and i am doing most of my job for the sake of doing it. and therefore i think it is about time that i buck up and resume my reponsibilities properly. i cant continue this way. i would firstly not achieve my aim of taking up the projects and secondly lose out with the oppurtunities at hand. im not stupid, i noe what i was in for when i signed up for this projects, i know what i was in for, i think i lost sight of my whole intention and aim for embarking on the tasks at hand. maybe i over-estimated myself. i forgot to take into account the time for family, friends, tuition and of course sufiyan when i took up the challenge. i guess im paying for it now. rushing from one place to another, people upset with me, me being guilty cos i know that i havent done a good job, me being guilty for being late yet again, and the list just strectches.

but just now, during rehearsal something struck me. As an actor, we have always be on our feet, our mind has to always react to the situation around us. and of course there are times when the things we least expect to happen, happens. but of course we cant show the audience that we are lost. we have to act as if it was the most natural thing in the world. as if it was supposed to happen. and to do that is to quickly forgive ourselves for the mistake that we have made and move on. if we keep thinking about it, we would just be stuck in a rut. I would be stuck in a rut. my mistake was the miscaculationes in time and my capabilities. but i am going to forgive myself for always coming late, failing to fulfil promises, not being on task and not being the perfect person tt i strive to be. and now i want to move on and do a better job.

just now i went to meet the lailas. of course i miss them. altho the ec session was quieter than usual. it's just nice being around people that i am familiar with and with whom i dun have to pretend or make an effort to have a conversation with. it's nice to be able to just be myslef and not be afraid of being judged. and yes they got me presents for my birthday! haha..laila j got me the MAC eyeliner i wanted. yay! Finally a functioning eyeliner! and it's retractabble. she made up all thses weird stories about she being able to get further discounts with her oub card, so i should not get the eyeliner myself. haha. good one! i feel for it. Laila k got me an Al-Quran. it's so damn nice and it's so slim. and it comes in the shade of green that matches my tafsir book..hahah..yay! and she also got me a beautiful shawl and bracelet and dates for my mom. went around to search for smtg i could buy. smtg that could make me happy. but after browsing thru the usual zara, mango and topshop. i couldnt find anything at all. the mango sale was disappointing. i was just so sick of the whole dress thing,prints and leggings etc etc i didnt noe what to get. maybe i was not in the mood to shop for clothes. i settled for something surprisingly practical, something i needed instead of wanted. An Esprit umbrella and a secondhand book by Oscar Wilde.

i need to spend more time wit family and sufiyan

2007-06-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

i survived today...

all twelve hours of it. there were some parts where i was cranky but i kept my lips sealed. some parts i fell asleep, but i still paid attention. some parts, i felt like giving up, but i just tahan. but the most important part of it all is that i lasted the whole day. haha

oh well..maybe it's not such a big a deal.

since my bdae has just passed, i had a bit of money to spend. but funny thing is after being broke for so damn freaking long. i dont feel like spending my money. i feel like keeping it and never ever spending it. i feel like being miss scrooge. ok let's see how long this feeling would last. i pray that it's for a long long time. paid a visit to a bookstore today after so so so long...i feel like a bimbo once i enter a bookstore bcos i would always head for the magazine rack while my more intelligent friends (ie. the lailas) would always search for a book that they have heard off that is very good written by some well-known author that i of course do not know anything about. or searching for some arst fartsy material that i have never heard off. yes i am not very well-informed. and i rarely spend on books, i am more willing to spend on magazines. i really hate to say this because i always deny it. but i am so vain. sighs.

but i know that no matter how vain and bimbo i can get, there are ppl who are far far far far far far far far worst than me...and im thankful for that. as mean as that sounds. lol.

oh anyhoos i got myself a local magazine. i dun really like local magazines... not because i am a snobbish person who would only touch stuff produced overseas. but i just dun find the items that local magazines showcase unique or creative. sometimes i also think that the layouts are boring. i am of course speaking about fashion magazines. maybe the situation is much more different now cos i havent bought any of those magazines for a long long time. but anyways the only local magazines which i think is worth buying is Style and Harpers Bazaar. i bought Style just now, and it suddenly reminded me how much i missed reading up about fashion. how much i missed coming up with unique outfits to wear. cos since it has been rehearsals day in and day out, i have become lazy and stick to comfortable pants and my black samsui women-like pumps which is comfortable enough for me to run around in and of course the tiny hole at the tip of it makes ventilation possible. bye bye smelly feet.

so tomoro when i meet the lailas. i wanna get smtg pretty and cheap.

told you the miss scrooge moment wont last long.

2007-06-23T00:22:00.000+08:00

THINK PINK

i promise that this would be my last entry about my birthday. im sure ppl are so sick of it. the week ended well with a quiet get together with the family. amidst the busy-ness and maddness during the day, (i still havent managed to call up any companies for foc) im glad that things went alright in the end. it was our usual dinner together on friday evenings just that most of us were clad in pink. thank u to my cousins esp to zafirah who took the effort to get me the Hello Kitty cake and the card. we played silly games and ate a lot!and of course took pictures :)

my mom never looks at the camera
trying to steal the princess's crown

ppl trying to the different "minah" poses..lol

food was good. thanks to jln tanjong family and my mom's fantastic cooking

nurul's forfeit

my bdae cake =^..^=

the family

the only all girls family...

the ties that bind

2007-06-22T15:01:00.000+08:00

You Need Some Black in Your Life

Black will make you feel powerful, in control, and not bound to what other people think of you. And with a little black, you will project a aura of mystery, rebellion, and dominance.If you want people to respect you, you've got to get a little black in your life!
For extra punch: Combine black with orange or red
The downside of black: People won't be able to "read" you - and may perceive you as more aggressive than you actually are
The consequences of more black in your life:
You'll become a figure of intrigue and speculationYou'll be better prepared for life's unknown pathYou'll rest better and free yourself of expectations

What Color Do You Need?

2007-06-21T21:48:00.000+08:00

okay today was super duper damn fun that i cannot wait to blog!

i am so tired but i really really had fun! thanks to artika, hudee and shamiah. i seriously didnt expect anythig from them. we just planned to go to marina and fly kites cos i have never ever done it. but they were so so sweet cos they went out of the way to plan me something. totally unexpected and caught me off guard. they bought a birthday cake and even presents! i was so so touched and i couldnt believe that they went out of their way to do tat. i felt so so bad cos i didnt noe whether it was my fault that i kept announcing my bdae during f.o.c meeting. my intention was to just poke fun and be an idiot during the meeting and i really didnt expect anything from anybody. but they were all so so sweet that i cant stop gushing about them. hudee, haireez and artika bought me a gorgeous bag. shamiah got me this really super duper cool notebook from the states. the design on the cover is of some cryptic motif. I LOVE IT! she even got me a pencil from San Francisco Museum of Modern Art! and im so glad that i finally get to meet her again after so long. and Fazzy popped down to pass me my present. a box full of things like poems, a wand, CD, jelly beans, chocolates etc etc. it was so obvious that he went to great lengths to prepare it and i am ever so greatful and touched. Thank You everybody for EVERYTHING! i feel more blessed than ever and i do not know what i did to deserve people like you in my life.

Kite flying is so fun im telling you. if you havent tried it you should cos it was my first time just now and it was so addictive. it was so fun running around, screaming "Let it go, Let it go!" or "Tarik, tarik!". it's somethign cheap that you can do. my Hello Kitty kite cost me $4/-. and always believe in the power of the kitty, after 2 hours of trying and not giving up we managed to get the kite up so high that the string just seemed to disappear in the clouds and u couldnt take a picture of your kite in the sky cos it was so so so so small. i bet ppl in Clementi could see my Hello Kitty Kite. it was so high that Shamiah said "eh, kena kapal terbang tak?" hahahaha and we took one whole hour to actually wind the string back down...

there's this feeling that kite flying brings towards me taht's difficult to explain. after trying over and over again, i realised that the whole process is a lot like life itself. that we should learn to trust one on a while. when we first began we kept tugging at the string, and then we realised that the key was to let go off the kite and trust the wind to carry it higher into the sky, yet other times you also realise that it's a lot about skill, as you learn how to manuover the kite, to angle it somehow in the opposite direction of the wind so that it stays in the sky longer. and sometimes you tug at the string to get better control of the kite. similarly, life is all about trusting, learning when to let go. But at the same time learning the skills of the trade and making the right decisions. i am definitely going back there to try it again, but i wont do it too often cos as sufiyan as sufiyan put it aptly, "it will lose its novelty". i kept the Hello kitty Kite to remind me of life lessons and of course to remind me how blessed i am.

we ended the day with dinner at Banquet and endless girl talk. seriously we couldnt stop jabbering! upload pictures ok, i have so so few!

it was a nice ending to a day that stared off with Pentas Budaya meeting. i am a bit jaded about teh whole thing. and i feel guilty cos i know taht people like Husni, Wany and Ibnur has put in waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more effort in to this project. when i ended my marketing stint with dsl i swore myslef off marketing because i didnt like the work. and i feel so guilty and i am fully aware that the state of emergency with markting at this point of time is all my fault. and i hate to say this but i am doing this just for the sake of doing this and that i do not want to let my team down after letting them down countless if times. and when i look at what i have to do i am just over whelmed. i know that i have help but i dunno where to start. and have i mentioned that i am overwhelmed. i hate calling people up and not only do i have to do marketing for pentas budaya i have to call 30 companies for FOC!!! the only thing that is keeping me going firstly my friends and secondly that small voice in my head telling me that i will grow stronger, wiser and more experienced from all this. i am jaded..

but i am so happy tat this birthday week has brought me away from all this :)

i cant thank everyone enough!